1. Home
  2. About Coaching
  3. Coaching Articles

Reflections on Fear

Posted on November 13, 2012 by Leslie R Singer, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Come to the edge, he said.
They came.
He pushed them... and they flew.

Come to the edge, he said.
They said: “We are afraid”.
Come to the edge, he said.
They came.
He pushed them… and they flew. – Christopher Logue

The doctors would have described it as a hairline fracture. Something so fine it cannot be detected by the untrained eye. Of course if it was a bone, the x-ray would clearly show the fine whisper of gray shadow trailing along the surface; a delicate thread of disruption potentially more threatening than it looks. I knew when it happened. I let out an audible gasp and then there was that smell. It happened twice actually. “How can that be?”, you ask. Well, I can tell you that if it is hard or tight enough, it can happen many times. Apparently, mine is very tight. This was not what I expected, but then again neither was the smell. I speak of the heart. This all came about in a yoga workshop designed for opening the hips which really was about opening the heart chakra. We sweated, twisted and bended, opening our hip flexors for over an hour just to prepare for the final pose to open the heart. Once achieving full expression of the posture the fracture happened. I felt the tightness in between my shoulder blades and a crack-like sensation that startled me. Coming out of the pose I sensed a difference, a shift perhaps and there was that smell. I believe the sensation I experienced was the fracture, the shell around my heart breaking, fracturing. Anyway, it was enough of an opening to let my heart release and to receive simultaneously. Fear. The smell was the release of Fear. As Fear left my heart center, my heart swelled with an unfathomable sadness. I am okay with this well of sadness. I will sit with this sadness, acknowledge it and eventually let it go. I am no longer afraid of sadness. I welcome a full and swelling heart. It is the Fear I am most curious about. I see Fear as a cloth fence falsely protecting my heart. It fooled my mind keeping me from experiencing a full and expansive life. Fear, it’s like a Novocain, numbing the nerves. It takes nerve to live large, to take risks, to love completely, to embrace oneself without judgment, to unite your dreams with your consciousness, to fly. I want to embrace that kind of nerve! On the other side of Fear now, I have come to understand a few things about Fear: Fears are False Expectations Appearing Real (a wonderfully appropriate acronym, its origin is unknown to me) Do not ignore your fear; be compelled to face it by… Taking action. Find the nerve to do things you normally would not do. Having someone or a situation put you in a position to do before you have time to think too much, can sometimes be enough to get you out of the way of your own Fear. Start with your “I will never…” list. For example, I will never speak in front of an audience; I will never love again; I will never fly in an airplane…. Pick one and leap off the edge of reason. Get curious about your Fears. Discover your Fears are unfounded with self -inquiry. Ask yourself, how true is this Fear of [fill-in-your-Fear]. Get close to it, taste it, smell it. Allow your heart to open. Let it swell with love, compassion and gratitude by practicing love, compassion and gratitude. Try meditation; try yoga; try journaling. Turn your cloth fence into wings and soar!

LOOKING FOR A PROFESSIONAL COACH?

Browse thousands of life coaches and business coaches in
hundreds of cities