Reflections on Change
Posted on November 13, 2012 by Leslie R Singer, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
“You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf.”
“You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf.”~ Jon Kabot-Zinn, Wherever You Go There You Are
“I took my power walk along the beach today…” my client loves to start her sessions with a recap of her morning. Her voice is as full and round as the Earth; you can hear the ocean roar in the background as she describes her encounter with a group of middle-aged surfers. She spoke of courage and comradery among this group of men; the sun-sparkle in their eyes gave away their child-like fascination with the sport while their weathered faces told a story of life experiences with the forces and depth of the ocean. My client, breathless now, as if she herself just rode a wave, goes on to tell me of the “wild” energy surrounding this group and just how amazing it is that with the “unpredictability” of the ocean, these men, these surfers joyfully and fearlessly shake off each and every fall and get back up on the board again. As I listened to my client, I could taste the salt water, feel the sand stuck everywhere, smell the ocean air, see my flesh bubble with goose-bumps as the air chilled my (wet) skin; and I smiled a Cheshire cat kind of smile thinking, what a wonderful metaphor this is for life!
Life! like the ocean is unpredictable. Or is it? I mean, Monday never stays Monday, Winter always turns to Spring, the moment we are born we begin to age, the oceans ebb and flow. These cycles are certain. Change is certain, is constant and at the same time change often is unexpected, unpredictable. Yet, how readily do most of us accept change? How well do we surf the waves that disrupt our predictable lives?A friend said to me that he is not fond of change. But reflecting on the big changes he did make, resulted in positive growth. He went on to say- Look at you, Leslie. You are not afraid of change. Wow, this made me curious; Am I not afraid of change? No. I think like most, change can fall along the range of kind-of-scary to turn-on-your-heels-and-run terrifying. The difference lies in how I respond to change.
Then I started doing an inventory and realized my experiences from a very early age have shaped my relationship with change. Looking back at how I responded to change, I fought hard; I kicked, screamed, cried, pouted, ran, slammed doors, and so forth. A lot of good all that resistance did! Change still happened and I “grew” from all of it; no regrets. Now I have a very different conversation with change having learned a few things along the way…
Adaptability
How you respond to change impacts your entire world. It affects how you feel about yourself, your relationships with others, work and home. Darwin said those who are most responsive to change, thrive. Not the most intelligent, not the strongest or wiliest, but the most adaptive. Think evolution. When we adapt well to change, we find opportunity in setbacks and view the world with optimism.
Resilience
There will always be that big wave and it will come knock us off our proverbial surf board, changing life as you and I know it. How resilient are you? How easily; how readily do you get back up on the board and try again? Or do you paddle to shore defeated, discouraged? The Japanese have a saying, “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.”
Acceptance
There are cycles of change we can count on and there is change that is unpredictable. Regardless of the type of change, change will happen. We are at choice to accept what is with an open mind and wonder or persist with an immutable attitude. Which do you choose? Which choice gives you more ease; more stress?
Fearless
To be fearless, does not mean that you have no fear, rather to be fearless is to answer the fear you have with courage. Where fear leaves us inert, courage puts us into forward moving action. How do you show up in the face of adversity? Does fear paralyze or motivate you?
Enthusiasm
Don’t let change color the view of yourself or your world. Embrace change with child-like curiosity. Explore your emotional ocean, look for ways to respond to change with wonder, awe, and joy.
Life ebbs and flows like the ocean, the waves of the ocean are a metaphor for change. Call on your inner surfer; for he/she knows that if you fight the waves of change you will suffer; if you ride the wave, you surf!
Need help getting back up on your board? Take the i-self rEvolution Assessment and learn how you can master your inner surfer!
