"The Essential Love Lessons"

Posted on November 05, 2012 by Madam Coach Perea, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.

To maintain an intimate relationship is an art-form. Everyone realizes it’s not easy, but it is attainable. Need to keep in mind that every situation is different, and there is NO one path to strong and mutually successful relationship. You ask how you know if your relationship is a healthy one. Here are 8 essential ingredients from my “Loving Self” program to test your emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual components required to create the best relationship partner.
1. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: you and your partner can sustain your relationship during times of DISTRESS or need, and help feel a sense of comfort and relief when connecting with each other.
2. ACCEPTANCE & LOVING UNCONDITIONAL: when both you and your partner FEEL fully accepted and loved for who you are. This should be TRUE even when you disagree.
3. INTERPERSONAL & APPRECIATION: you both VALUE your relationship and consider it a PRIORITY. You devote enough time to NURTURE and enjoy it fully.
4. SECURITY: you both feel SUPPORTED as you explore your individual goals OUTSIDE and within the relationship. It’s EXTREMELY important, however that these activities are NOT destructive, such as a partner being so involved in a hobby or other pursuits that sh/e has no time for the relationship.
5. TRUST: you and your partner trust each other to ACT in ways that SUPPORT the love in your relationship. You also TRUST each other to be “Emotionally Intelligent” when needed.
6. INTIMACY CONNECTION: means you are BOTH comfortable with sharing your INTIMATE THOUGHTS and VULNERABLE feelings. You are at ease with depending on each other (also called inter-bonding) while maintaining your SEPARATE needs and identities.
7. PERSONAL SELF-WORTH: you each have a sense of self-worth that is SEPARATE from, though SUPPORTED by your relationship. Partners don’t have to choose being able to be themselves.
8. EFFECTIVE, CARING RESOLUTION SYSTEM: you talk about DISTRESSING EVENTS and aspects of your relationship in a mutually respectful way. You attend to each other’s distress, helping EASE it, and then move on to solving the issue as a TEAM. Take your time and carefully consider each of these as signs. Are they characteristics of your relationship? Do they suggest ways you can improve it? Or does reviewing them reinforce just how happy you are and how much you have to show GRATITUDE? The answers to these questions will let you know a great deal about how healthy—or unhealthy- your relationship is to build a foundation of abundance, respect, and experience a successful loving partnership.
Madam’s Tip: When a partner gets caught up in pleasing others or focuses to much, they become disconnected from inner-self and others. Remedy is to be conscious of your—thoughts, feelings, and belief system. You will be more connected with what makes you authentic. Then you can truly be open to a successful relationship.