Cultivate a Habit of Happiness
Posted on November 03, 2012 by Lynn Crocker, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
After a period of time the brain efficiently habitualizes thoughts that we have chosen to think on a repeating basis.
Happiness is a habit as is unhappiness. Both are the result of repeated thought choices.
Because the brain is always seeking to make life easier for us, after a period of time it efficiently habitualizes thoughts that we have chosen to think on a repeating basis. Eventually, the thought habit becomes so ingrained we get to the point where we have emotional reactions to thoughts we are not even consciously aware that we had.
For example, if your beloved canine companion comes into the room, you do not have to consciously think, “Ah, there is Bow Wow. I love Bow Wow. I am glad Bow Wow is here” to have a habitual positive emotional reaction to his presence. You see Bow Wow and you feel happy. On the other end of the example spectrum, someone with whom you have repeated off-putting experiences walks up to you. You do not have to be aware of your negative thoughts about this person to have a habitual negative emotional reaction about interacting with him.
Since your emotional reactions are the result of habitualized and often buried thought processes, you first must reacquaint yourself with the thoughts behind your negative feelings if you want to change them into positive ones.
A driver cuts you off in traffic and out of habit, you feel angry. In this moment, stop and listen to your mind. What are you thinking? Is it something along the lines of “What an idiot! How dare she disrespect me…She thinks she’s better than me…I’ll show her I am not to be messed with…”? No wonder you feel angry! You made the situation very personal.
Since you really don’t know what is going on with this person, why not alter your thoughts to give her the benefit of the doubt? What if you thought “she is rushing to the hospital to meet her son who broke his arm at school,” or “she was laid off today and is stressed and distracted” and you could choose to follow either thought with “I hope she is more careful and arrives safely wherever she needs to be”. With these thoughts in mind, I know for sure your anger will subside and be replaced with a feeling of calm. After repeatedly redirecting your thoughts in these more positive directions, your brain will begin to replace the negative habit of feeling angry with healthier, more positive reactions.
The bottom line is, you are in control of and responsible for your own happiness. It is not contingent on external situations and it is not something that happens to you. You must learn to cultivate it from within. This process initially requires dedication and vigilance, but with time, thanks to your efficient brain, positive thinking becomes a habit.
