How Fear of Change Can Negatively Influence Your Life
Posted on September 19, 2012 by Brett Denkin, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Other clients come to me because they are stuck in a toxic relationship, be it work or personal. I often ask them about the downside of moving on.
In December of 2006, I unhooked from a relatively conventional life in the “Burbs,” put my business on the phone, hopped in my convertible with my girlfriend and Labradoodle, headed south to Pensacola and then West to Santa Fe. The most challenging part of my journey was at the beginning when I was flooded with the anxiety that is often associated with massive change. The second hardest part was when Tuck (my Labor-doodle) and I headed on to Santa Fe alone. Again, I was faced with substantial change, accompanied by doubt and sadness. We lived and traveled out west for nearly two years. I can boast that I have a dog that has swam in the Atlantic, Pacific, Gulf of Mexico, as well as rivers and lakes in Colorado and New Mexico! I can also say that his master has faced significant change many times in his life.
I am not for a moment suggesting that you “unhook” from your life though there are some pretty amazing benefits to leaving a traditional structure, venturing into the unknown, and letting go of conditioning associated with the old structure. I am suggesting that each of us find a way to face our fear of change because unless we learn to do so, we will suffer. Much of our suffering as humans comes from our resistance to change and our inability to let go.
Besides death and taxes, the one thing we can consistently count on in life is change. All things change, all things come to an end. Those of us that come to accept this and even embrace change have more fulfilling lives. In general, life is easier when we develop an attitude of acceptance versus resistance. I recently coached an eighteen year old in his freshman year of college. He called me because his long-distance girlfriend wanted to be able to see other people. He doesn’t want this and is trying desperately to hold onto her. I asked him how this approach was working for him? He said he wasn’t sleeping and that he was miserable. We talked about letting go next!
Other clients come to me because they are stuck in a toxic relationship, be it work or personal. I often ask them about the downside of moving on. Many people in this situation acknowledge that there is very little downside other than fear; fear of being alone, fear of starting over, fear of making a mistake and so on. Ultimately, this boils down to fear of change, doesn’t it? Again, we must learn to tackle our fears and embrace change or we are headed for a mediocre life at best.
Some of us feel safer with mediocrity, after all better the devil we know than the devil you don’t. If that is you then ask yourself this: When I get to the end of my life, will I feel satisfied or will I be disappointed if I never live up to my full potential? Those of us that approach our true potential in life tend to work hard, develop good habits, and embrace change! I hope you will too!
Also feel free to check out my website – http://www.drbrettdenkin.com
