Self-love isn't selfish!

Posted on September 06, 2012 by Rick Clemons, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Here’s a statement that could cause some of you to take offense. I’m just warning you so you can stop reading now if you want.

Being True To You, Enables YOu To More Powerfully True To Everything and Everyone In Your Life.

Did you feel it? That knee jerk reaction to this statement. In fact, somewhere inside, you may have felt this lingering feeling of selfishness crop up when you read those words. Not surprising and no judgment. It’s simply one of the most common reactions people have to “putting themselves first.” However, being true to yourself doesn’t have to be a selfish thing.

5 Truths That Turn Selfishness into Self-Love

1. No more pretending. Once you start living your life and being who you truly are, not only will you release yourself from the jail cell of false imprisonment, everything in your life will more than likely release and the energy of pretending someone you’re not will be put to better use. All it takes is releasing one area of your life into truth and other areas of your life will expand to experience the same freedom.

2. Stress be gone. Not being true to you is hard work. Always telling yourself, “No you shouldn’t,” or “What will others think,” is draining – emotionally and physically. In fact, one of the interesting phenomenon that occurs when you start living your truth and going for what you desire, is that others literally will see your shoulders straighten and notice you standing taller with a new sense of confidence. The weight of pretending is lifted from your shoulders, reducing stress and opening your life to experience what is without regrets.

3. I’ll be doing less for others. One of the biggest misnomers about being true to you is that you then spend less time doing for others. BULL PUKEY! Unless you’re truly a selfish horse’s arse, doing for yourself helps you open up to giving more of yourself to others. You’ll find that self-care gives you the energy and desire to do for others in a beautiful, more generous way rather than from a stance of obligation and potential earning their love and approval.

4. Selfish is as selfish does. Being selfish doesn’t work. In fact, operating from a space of selfishness is a very catabolic way to be in life. Like a muscle that is exercised, the more you act from a selfish place, the more selfish, and the bigger ass, you become. However, being true to you works the same way. The more you authentically stay true to yourself, come from a loving position of “me first so I can be of service to others”, then the more selfishness retreats.

5. Nothing Gets Done. The golden gem of being “True to Yourself,” is when you discover that being out of alignment in any area of your life is caused by you forgetting to be true to you. For example, if integrity is one of your core values and you allow yourself not to be in integrity, BOOM – you just denied your true self in that moment. That moment then leads to some form of conflict, guilt, or shame, and suddenly you’re miserable…all because you didn’t stay “True to you” first…and then you’re stuck, in a rut, getting nothing done.

So here’s the question of the day…

“Where are you not being true to YOU in your life?”

Whether it is in life, love or business, we all have somewhere in our life where we are not being in our truth.

Give yourself full permission, even if in just one are of life, to be true to you. Then, proclaim this truth by writing it on a Post It Note as follows:

True to me means…(finish the sentence)

Place this Post It Note in a prominent place to remind you of what you have committed to for yourself. Instead of asking “What have I got to lose?” ask, "What can I gain by being true to me?”