Personalities

Posted on August 24, 2012 by Rachel Lugo, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Around 15 years ago in my mid-20’s I took a Myers Briggs Temperament Sorter test as part of something that my employer put together. I remember them giving us an IQ test as well and I was surprised at the higher than average math score! What!?! I’m not good at math…..

But back to this Myers Briggs thing, it was new-ish at the time I believe, back in the mid 90’s, I’d never heard of it, didn’t really care all that much but I rolled with it. When the results came back to me weeks later I was not a happy camper. This “test” result said I was an INFJ, and it explained my personality, yes I know my personality….but what didn’t make me happy back then was looking on paper at a statement that said INFJ was rare, something like 1-2% of the population. Well thanks, I’d always felt a little like a weirdo anyway but this just confirmed it. I left it at that and never really thought about it much.

About six months ago however I stumbled on it again. I was curious this time and took the test, lo-and-behold I’m still an INFJ, read the definition…yep, still me. The short definition is Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging. So I live in my head and recharge my batteries via quiet “me” time (check), Intuitive means that I think big-picture and don’t really care about the details (bolded, red, underlined check), Feeling means I lean more toward feelings/emotions in a situation than facts (check), and Judging means I like to get stuff done and I’m a planner. I do not do spontaneity well. I try sometimes, but I’m really bad at it.

My curiosity this time took me a bit further with this Myers Briggs stuff, so if I’m this strange personality type then obviously other people don’t think like me. I have always known that at some level but I had no idea the extent of the differences. I decided right then that I wanted to know just how other people think so I started a quest to learn all of the 16 different types and what they look like. I devoured a book on the types, and then I shamelessly asked my family, friends, and co-workers to take the test so I could understand it better in my relationships.

I tested my husband Rick, he has a cool personality, he’s outgoing, funny, everyone loves Rick. He tested as an ESTP. Notice this is the complete opposite of me, INFJ…..hmm. This one means Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceiving. So he gets more energy being around others (uh huh), Sensing means more of a detail guy (when I lose stuff I ask him to find it, he doesn’t miss a thing), Thinking means he pays more attention to facts and what’s in front of his face than feelings/emotions, and Perceiving means he enjoys the process, the realm of possibilities is endless for him, he loves spontaneity, he’s up for anything most of the time.

I wasn’t at all surprised about our opposite personalities, nor was he, but it really DID help me to understand him better and take things less personally when we clash over stuff.

In our opposite-ness we do complement each other a whole lot. There are things I could care less about that he handles in our lives, and he lets me handle the stuff I care about. But there are also times when I talk to him about something deep inside my mind that’s really important to me and he looks at me like I have two heads. Not because he doesn’t care but because that’s just how “out there” I can be sometimes.

I do know that Rick and I do have something in common though; we both want to be loved and respected. And learning a little more about what goes on in his mind has helped me see him in a different way, it’s helped me understand better how to communicate with him, I don’t get so annoyed at silly stuff anymore, I just try to let him be Rick. It’s so much easier to live that way!

There are lots of free sources on the internet to take the Myers Briggs test, this test is good because it’s super quick and pretty accurate and will get you started. Then if you want to delve into the land of personalities there are more extensive tests you can take.