The 3 Most Powerful Emotions

Posted on August 01, 2012 by Amanda Carter MBC, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Anger

This one is pretty much a no brainer. When you’re angry, you’re ready to kick some ass, take some names and make BIG changes in the circumstance that brought you to the point of getting angry. It can happen because someone with more authority in your workplace, block your attempts to put in place a valuable system of achievement, or because someone pointed out a harsh truth about you that you’re not yet ready to own up to. There are lots of reasons we get angry, and honestly, it isn’t the “anger” that makes it such a powerful thing, it’s the STATE we enter into when we are angry. It’s that state of CERTAINTY. We KNOW we are angry, we KNOW that we are powerful when we’re angry and we know with absolute CERTAINTY that something is going to change, OR ELSE.

The downside to this powerful emotion, is that while anger can become a positive catalyst for beneficial changes in our lives, it also creates a great deal of stress in our lives that just isn’t necessary. This is especially true for those of you whom found that things get done better when you’re angry, you begin to associate the emotional state of being “angry” with success and motivation, when it is really the CONFIDENCE and CERTAINTY that gets things done and motivates people.

Depression

You might not picture it from the position of being depressed or knowing someone who is depressed, but depression truly is one of the MOST powerful emotional states. Why??

Because when we are depressed we are CERTAIN that we are depressed. We are certain that we are sad, that things are not going the way we want them to and that from this state, nothing will ever go the way we want it to.

More importantly, depression is the state of VICTIMS, and what do victims get? They get the CERTAINTY of sympathy, and they get the SIGNIFICANCE of being a part of something larger then themselves. Depression is claimed to be uncureable, an no doctor or psychologist can seem to figure out how it even gets started. Sure they have their theories, and some of them are really interesting, though what they fail to understand, is that depression is simply a REACTIVE state, just like anger, and that no one stays in depression in the way they make you think we do. Sure, we might have longer periods of intense sadness, emotional pain and resistance, but if you spend time with anyone (including yourself) who has been labeled with Depression, you’ll notice that the are not depressed 24 hours out of the day, 365 days of the year.

This is because it is literally IMPOSSIBLE to stay in any one emotion for more than an hour (if that). Within the hours of a day, everybody (regardless of mental health conditions), goes through emotional shifts in state. One moment they are happy that their favorite tv show is one, or that they hit all green lights on their way to work. then they are made because someone cut them off, or because their mother called and told them o do it better, or whatever. Then we are sad because we idn’t achieve everything on our to-do lists, or because we suddenly got our period on the night of our anniversary. Things happen, an the way the human experience works, is that we experience nearly a full spectrum of emotions all day. Some people are more prone to certain emotions than others, and there certainly are times when we tend to focus on one state over another, which brings us back to it more often – and those are the times when people get labeled with certain disorders, like DEPRESSION. It isn’t actually that anyone is saying that you or I or anyone else is permanent in a depressed state, it’s that we keep focusing on our “label”, telling ourselves that we are “depressed” and making it a part of our identity, that we go back into that state more often than we go into any other state. When we reach a state of happiness, we remind ourselves that “happy” is not a part of our identity anymore, so we push it aside. It goes on an on.

Anyways, the point here, is that depression is a powerful state. It means that no matter what, you can get attention and feel important. If your family won’t give it, your friends will, if your friends won’t, the doctors will. It’s an endless cycle of certainty and significance.

The downside to using this powerstate, is that depression does not provide enough Variety or Connection, because in it’s very nature, depression is a state of “disconnection”, and we MUST have connection in order to THRIVE, which is why when you’re depressed, you’re constantly throwing people, doctors, medications and other “cure-aides” out the window, because you cannot find connection with them. This is why depression almost always goes hand in hand with Anger. It because a cycle that is difficult to fight. First we are depressed, an we get attention in some form, or we meet our need for feeling certain about our identities, but thats not enough, we must reach our other needs, so we then get angry and start throwing fits, even if we got everything fromt he depressed state that we THOUGHT we wanted, because we can’t stay in any one state, and by changing states, we get our need for variety.

The largest pitfalls of all though, is that without Growth and Contribution, meeting all of our other needs amounts to very little when you are over focusing on being depressed. The cycle of depression meets our needs for Certainty, Variety and Significance, which is why it is instantly addicting to achieve that state, and why we stick with it for so long, though we don’t get Connection, Love, Growth and Contribution, and these MUSTS, all people need to meet those needs, and the cycle of depression will NEVER achieve all that – which means, we die. Or in the case of someone who is depressed, we commit suicide or try to position ourselves into dangerous situations, like alcoholism or drug abuse.

As you can see, as powerful as this state may be, it’s not the IDEAL kind of power you want to have in place 90% of the time.

EXCITEMENT

This is absolutely the top of the line when it comes to powerstates, ESPECIALLY if you combine the state of excitement with a staet of GRATITUDE. Why??

Because like-attracts-like, and when you are grateful for you have, the people around you are grateful to have you, and the universe is grateful to bring you more of what you want and need. It’s also the most powerful state because being in a state of excitement only brings a good kind of stress. It builds up our adrenaline, and pushes us towards our desires. This is often the state we experience during the “honeymoon” of our relationships or businesses – when we are just so excited with everything, grateful to have the opportunities we have and everything still seems so new.

The challenge, is reminding yourself to come back to the state of excitement, ESPECIALLY when you feel like you are lacking in control or certainty in your life. Most of us push excitement away when we are frustrated, fearful or overwhelmed, when those are the vary moments we need to embrace a state of excitement the most.

And this is the goal o any strong leadership coach, which is to help you understand your own personal “states”, so that you can uncover for yourself, the benefits to cultivating a state of excitement at least 75% of the time.

~Coach Amanda