Non-Directive Life Coaching

Posted on July 23, 2012 by Ron Owens, One of Thousands of Spirituality Coaches on Noomii.

Non-Directive Life Coaching

Life coaching is a relatively recent term for something that has been going on for ages. Life coaching takes many forms. Some people may see the term and say, “I don’t need anyone else to tell me how to run my life – I’m married.”

The purpose of life coaching really isn’t to tell anyone how to run their life in general but it may involve some specific aspect of their life.

There are two basic types of life coaching – directive and non-directive. A directive coach may be employed to advise on some specific area that needs to be improved. To do this, you engage a coach who has some particular expertise in a given area. Examples would include a fitness coach, athletic coach, business coach, voice coach, etc. Other terms for directive coaching would include consulting, teaching, advising and mentoring.

Basically, a directive coach shares his or her expertise and “directs” the client to success.

A non-directive coach’s expertise is in the process, not the subject area. The NDC (non-directive coach) can assist in a variety of subject areas such as weight loss, career advancement, education or starting a business – just to name a few.

In directive coaching, the coach is the expert but in non-directive, the client is the expert. Certainly, there are some areas where the directive approach is more appropriate but there are also areas where non-directive is the way to go.

Perhaps this is a good time to review the purpose of coaching. A coach assists the client in getting from point A to point B. Point B is the objective of the process. It could be getting a job, winning a title, passing an exam, operating a successful business, stop smoking or learning to play poker. Some objectives (goals) would require a more directive approach but most can be accomplished through a non-directive approach.

Let’s face it – most of us already know what we need to do to reach our goal. What we need is a plan, motivation, accountability and encouragement. This is what the NDC provides but don’t think for a moment that it is just cheerleading.

Briefly, the NDA (non-directive approach) process is as follows:

1. Define the goal. The client may say that the goal is to “get a better job” but through appropriate inquiry we may learn that he loves his job but needs to make more money. In this case, the goal would be to increase income, not necessarily to get a better job. The NDC helps the client to discover his actual objective. The goal must be reasonable and attainable. We call this “validating the goal.”

2. Determine the current situation. Before we can develop a plan for the client to obtain the goal, we must assess his current situation. What resources are available? What support does he have? What happened in previous attempts? This is defining the “A” to determine the starting point to achieve “B.”

3. Develop a plan. Too many people claim to have a goal but have never developed a plan to get there. The goal may seem lofty or far away but an appropriate plan gives a pathway with intermediate objectives along the way. Often people think of a goal as something you don’t have one minute but do the next. The NDC assists the client in putting together a realistic plan that has various “success points” along the way. If the goal is to lose 20 pounds, losing 5 is a success point. If the goal is getting a new job, updating the resume is a success point. Success points provide motivation to continue the journey.

4. Accountability. From session to session, the NDC will assign the client various tasks to perform. It may be as simple as “Ask your husband what he thinks about your goal” or as detailed as “Research the requirements to be a Marine Biologist, including average income and employment opportunities.” At the following session, the NDC asks about the assignment. Was it completed? What was the result? What prevented you from doing the assignment?

5. Encouragement. You can’t minimize the importance of positive reinforcement. Although it is the client’s goal, it is the coach’s job to help the client attain the goal. An example of this collaborative effort is in the accountability mentioned above. If a client fails to complete the assignment, a directive coach may use negative reinforcement such as refusing to hold another session until the assignment is completed or chastise the client for not being serious about attaining the goal. The NDC, on the other hand, would work with the client to explore exactly what prevented the assignment from being completed and how to remove negative influencers.

There are several advantages to using the NDA in coaching:

1. It is collaborative. Since the NDC and the client are working together, the client “owns” the results. There is more motivation when the client is working the plan that he helped develop than when he is given a plan by the “expert.” If something goes wrong or does not happen as expected, it would be easy to blame the expert’s plan but if it is the client’s plan they are much more motivated to discover the problems and adjust the plan as necessary. A side benefit is that the client learns the process and can apply it to subsequent issues without having to employ the coach.

2. It is personal. A directive coach may have a plan that he uses for all clients. You buy into his program and follow his instructions. The NDA is different for each client. It takes into account his desires, his motivation, his support network, his resources, his timetable, etc. There is no standard plan, diet, regimen, schedule or steps to follow.

3. Relationship. The non-directive approach is all about the client. Although it is conversational in nature, all discussion is about the client. The coach does not give opinions or advice, even when we think we know the answer. We lead the client to discover the answer for themselves. Certainly we give guidance on where to look or some alternatives to consider but the discovery is the client’s.

4. Flexible. Life tends not to follow plan. Things happen that may make it necessary to alter the plan accordingly. The client may have a financial setback or change in work schedule. There may be changes in the coach’s situation as well. You must have the capability to change the plan when necessary. Since the plan is individualized, it is not difficult to accommodate changing conditions. This is not the case when following a regimented plan that require the client to “do items 1 – 6 the first week and 7 – 13 the second.”

5. General Applicability. Since the NDA is process oriented, it can be applied to a variety of subject areas. This is certainly an advantage to the coach who does not have to market her services to a limited segment of the population as would be the case with an acting coach, for example. Many non-directive life coaches also have the capability of doing directive coaching in specific areas where they have expertise. Personally, I am qualified to do directive coaching in the areas of spirituality, real estate investing and entrepreneurship.

For more information on non-directive coaching, to explore becoming a coach or to discuss the possibility of being coached, please visit my web site at www.CoachRonOwens.com.