Are You Running TO or FROM a career?
Posted on July 09, 2012 by Amy McGrath, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Instead of running from an unfulfilling career, get clear about the destiny that your career holds for you.
Last month we had the privileged of going camping in the Grand Canyon. I had a long conversation with a dear family friend by the light of the stars and our battery operated lantern. She told me that she hated her condo and wanted to sell it … but the market was so awful and she knew she wouldn’t get what she paid for it. My husband suggested she find a hungry young Realtor to market it. I wasn’t convinced she was going to take that advice. As we talked about it further, the truth came out – she felt like she was always running from things without clarity about what she was running to. If she was able to sell her condo, where would she move to?
It doesn’t feel good to be on the run without having any idea where you’re actually going. As a matter of fact, it feels like you’re lost. In our careers, it’s easy to identify the reasons we no longer want to be working somewhere. Your boss has no idea what you really do, your clients are idiots, no one treats you with respect … the commute makes you want to crash your car on purpose. Noticing the stuff you don’t want is the easy part. It’s so easy that it seems like our default stance in many areas of life.
If you go car shopping, you may not know exactly what car you’re going to end up with, but you know before you step in the showroom what you absolutely are not going to look at – no minivans, no sports cars, nothing with a black interior. It’s easy to weed out what you don’t want. I even did that with my college major. It was the process of elimination … and, wa-la, I’m a psych major because everything else is uninteresting or won’t pay enough as a career.
When I make decisions based on the process of elimination, I rarely get what I really want. I am limited by the choices that are in front of my face. I get something a little different than what I had before. I get something tolerable. I get something that I can make work. It’s not my heart’s desire though. The same thing applies when you move forward without focus on your desires.
When you move to a new job just to get out of one that you hate, you will find the same old junk you were running from following you. You’re in a different place with some different people around you, maybe in a better workspace with a higher salary. But eventually those old pet peeves show up. You start to notice that this boss is a jerk too, the clients seem to have more intelligence but a worse attitude, and you’re really still a glorified assistant … but you do get free parking and awesome benefits. It’s not the job of your dreams though.
That’s because you stopped after the easy part. Identifying what you don’t want is just the beginning of the story. And, it’s a really important part of the story. You have a natural ability to do this. Now it’s time to leverage that ability. The most valuable part of knowing what you don’t want is the contrast that it provides you. Use this information to turn your focus on what you do want.
Be strategic and dig deep with this. You don’t always want the exact opposite of what you hate. Sometimes you dislike a very specific aspect of a situation.
Loathe being micromanaged? Maybe you want more independent assignments. Maybe you want less contact with your manager.
Hate how your boss never seems to have time to talk? Maybe you just want 5 minutes of his uninterrupted attention. Maybe you just want a little more direction.
Sick of so many procedures? Maybe you want less rules. Maybe you want more trust in your ability to apply the rules.
Tired of customers who don’t get it? Maybe you want to be working with a more educated clientele. Maybe you wish you were better understood.
As you get to the heart of what you really want, use this information to create a new story – the story of what you’re running toward, the story of a job you would love to wake up to every day.
And have fun figuring out what you like! The plan my dear friend and I came up with under the stars in the Grand Canyon was to go house shopping – just to see what’s out there, explore a bit to find out what she likes, and pick something to direct her vision.
It’s not magic. I’m not saying you’re going to immediately have a job that’s perfect in every way. What you will have is some clarity about what you’re running to. When you begin to focus on what you really want, you will notice the presence of those things in your life. They might already be there. You may notice that your boss really has your best interest at heart, the rules are there to protect you, and your customers really need you. Alternatively, you may come to the realization that what you want doesn’t seem to exist in your current position. In that case, you now you have a clear picture of what you’re really after. You will notice new opportunities and it will be obvious which ones to pursue.
The key is to change your focus toward desire and let that propel you forward. As you’re running your race, “may the road rise up to meet you.”
