Are we connected?

Posted on June 02, 2012 by Iris Jacobs, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Are we connected or are we too connected? I have had discussions with several groups about this topic and the answers are not so clear. We have the capability of being connected 24/7, but do we want to be?

Have you ever gone to a lovely restaurant and felt that someone’s phone is an uninvited added guest. You’re in the middle of a wonderful conversation, but the phone rings, and it’s all over.

Now, I am not against all our wonderful technology. This is not a generational thing. I will always be grateful for the day that my daughter and son-in-law reached me on my cell to tell me that they were about to have a child in several months. There was silence on my end of the phone. When my son-in-law announced the news, he thought that either my phone went mute or I wasn’t happy for them. However, my daughter was right; my silence was my tears. I was crying out of pure happiness. Yes, I was thrilled that my phone was nearby and they could share the news.

But what about other times? When I go out with friends, do I really need to be connected for those 2 hours at dinner? I haven’t done brain surgery on anyone earlier in the day. I don’t need to be that connected. I can turn off my phone. By doing so, I am sending a message to the people that I’m with that they are important, that I am there with them and for them, and I don’t want to miss out on any of that time. It’s about being present and enjoying the moment with those that mean the most to me.

Recently I forgot and thought that my phone was more important than anything else. There I was at the gym speaking to my yoga instructor following her class, which was nothing short of amazing. We were having a wonderful ‘after class’ experience talking about values and philosophy when I realized that I left my phone home. My immediate reaction was that I felt as if I lost part of my right arm. Should I go home now before I swam and used the sauna, steamroom and showered? Should I interrupt my conversation with Susanne? Good sense prevailed, and I let the anxious feeling of not having my phone go, and I enjoyed the precious moments at the gym.

Now I am sympathetic for those of you that have children and being unable to text continuously feels like a deprivation to them. How do you limit all this technology when all the other kids have no limits? I think that my son has the right idea with his 4 children, ages 12-17. At some point in the evening, he takes all the phones and charges them in his room, allowing the kids to read, study and do whatever without the phone. His wife recently collected all the phones when they stayed at a cabin in North Carolina for a weekend so that they would truly have family time. Not a bad idea, is it?

Technology is wonderful, but let’s use it wisely, and let’s remember how nice it is to connect face-to-face and with the spoken word. Connect with people and engage them in conversation by asking questions like:
—What
—Why
—How.
Sprinkle with “tell me more” and “for example” and see what happens. Really connect by:
—Rephrasing
—Echoing what you hear people saying
—Commenting and
—Complimenting.

See how it works.Let me know. You can reach me on email at iris@irisjacobs.net. And, if you want to hear my live voice and engage in a conversation, contact me, and consider it done.