Unload Your Emotional Baggage
Posted on May 30, 2012 by Cherese Jackson, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.
With so much potential for disaster, it is no wonder that emotional hoarding is the health threat to avoid and resolve when recognized
When you travel do you tend to over pack? Are you always hoping to fly Southwest to avoid the extra baggage fees? Do you need a garment bag, suitcase and duffle for an overnight visit? Do you spend your transit time worrying about what might have been left or what you should have brought along? …..If the answer yes to any of these, then you probably carry too much baggage and need to learn to travel lighter. There’s no question: overpacking trumps the list of biggest travel mistakes.
Of all the travel skills you might acquire, travelling light is the one most likely to result in enjoyable, productive, stress-free travel experiences.
Why do airlines charge for the extra stuff? I may be wrong, but I think there are two main reasons:
1. As a control measure for security (so that everyone doesn’t arrive with loads of extra luggage without any implications. If you have to pay, you will control the amount you bring)
2. It has an actual impact on the airplane weight (heavier planes mean higher fuel prices)
I’m of the persuasion that all truth is parallel and what you display in your behavior is often a reflection of what’s going on inside. In other words, we’d do well to learn from the example the Airlines have shown us as a consequence of carrying excess baggage with us. Everyone has some form of baggage, but for our topic today I want to focus on emotional baggage. Emotional baggage is turmoil caused by issues in someone’s past.
Emotional baggage clutters your mind, weighing you down with regurgitations about the past, rendering you unable to fully enjoy the present.
For example, most of us have experienced holding a grudge at one time or another and, hopefully, eventually forgave the offense or simply let it go.
Others have difficulty releasing their hard feelings, assuming the role of victim in their relationships and choosing estrangement over forgiveness. You might recognize the behavior in a friend or relative who has not spoken to someone they previously were close to for years over some perceived offense.
Although emotional hoarding is not considered a bona fide mental illness, many mental health experts agree that bottling up emotions and harboring grudges can lead to stress-related mental and physical medical issues and therefore emotional hoarding over time might potentially be detrimental to your health and well-being.
Excess emotional baggage, like luggage, demands a high price. Physical side effects of emotional hoarding consist of, but are not limited to:
-High blood pressure
-Headaches
-Insomnia
-Depression
-Weight issues – Over indulgence of eating or lack of
-Compulsive behaviors – Excessive shopping; never having enough
With so much potential for disaster, it is no wonder that emotional hoarding is the health threat to avoid and resolve when recognized.
Baggage has many faces. We carry them around us; we store them in the remotest part of our brain, in the deepest chambers of our hearts. We have them in our extensive database of memories. We can all identify some area where we feel justified holding on to our “victim” status:
-Broken dreams
-Broken relationships
-Failed careers
-Betrayals
-Childhood trauma
-Health challenges
These as well as other concerns can cast deep emotional scars to the most vulnerable members of the family and society.
Think back over the years, and ask yourself how many times you have stopped interacting with another person, as opposed to talking out your problem with them and facilitating a resolution.
How do you react today when someone offends you? Do you suffer in silence or confront the person, voicing your displeasure and eliciting an apology in an effort to bring resolution? If you bottle up your feelings, tucking them away in your mind, you are displaying the behavior of an emotional hoarder and leaving yourself at risk of developing mental or physical problems.
You can make the choice to forgive others when warranted, or accept their errant ways, letting go of your hurt feelings and moving on with your life. Hence, the serenity prayer: “Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference”.
Your inner peace and ability to fully enjoy life is dependent on learning how to forgive or let go and move on. One of the most dangerous places to find yourself is in a place called yesterday. It’s the past for a reason – get out of the rear view mirror and focus on the road. Life is a road we all travel; lighten the load and enjoy a more flexible journey.
Cherese Jackson
