Abuse or Prejudice in any establishment is NOT acceptable

Posted on April 26, 2010 by Donna-Marie Foster, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

This is an updated article on March 21 2022

Why is it that some of our children, youths, students feel that they are always right when they get to a certain age and that age is getting younger?

Are the children the problem? What is the answer to when you get a Teacher/Officer being prepared to listen to comments being made after asking for a meeting, that should result in raising respect levels for all parties concerned, however respect is only given for the duration of the meeting by all attendees and thereafter, this is not the case because Teachers/lLecturers/Officers who are wrong, thinking they are right show a false representation in the media or educational setting letting the nation realise that we are not a nation of inclusivity because outright blatant disregard and disdain is our reality, when the next exposed encounter happens against a person that is classified as an Ethnic Minority. Whoever penned that term?

Sometimes it takes a bad situation to occur for the best things to happen, no matter how bad the situation was, we need to believe that good is going to be the result because as a community, a family, a parent, a child and professionals, we decide to change.

Regarding Schools and this is where my thoughts are at this time, It does help if professionals always ensure to contact parents and request their presence or appoint to have a meeting with them (parent(s) or guardians), who on attending are respectful enough to allow the meeting to be conducted in a way that all parties are allowed to express themselves freely and feel that they have been heard.

Scenario – Student A feels uncomfortable and as a result of stating this to their parent(s) who have probably due to their own life stresses interpreted their child’s unrest to be more than what they actually are, send in a complaint on their child’s behalf to the school.

What we would hope for here is that every one that attends sits down with the Teacher or School Representative as it could be a Headteacher and with patience and equal respect everyone present is allowed to have their say, coming out of the meeting feeling progress has been made? The student also feeling that they have been heard and respected by the School and their parents who supported them.

All secondary and tertiary level students know what they do well and what they have done that is not good at all, and not only that they know exactly how their teacher and educational facility staff members feel about them. They know their abilities in the educational setting, albeit school, college or university or a place of work if they are doing an Apprenticeship. They know their capabilities and areas that they need to improve so as to achieve their desired grade to secure the profession they want to work in, so why is it that teachers do not always communicate with the students as much as they need to, and how they should do, to get the best out of them. Too often, their chosen communication style causes students to lose interest and truant, because they think that they are not valued and they will not even be missed.

Lecturers please listen and hear what students have to say from their perspective. Isn’t it time to be more relatable and less judgemental, isn’t it this that is needed? The life issues that our students are dealing with today and have for years but since the 2020 Pandemic hasn’t been easy at all. Mental Health Cases In Students have risen to alarming figures. No lesson is going to go smoothly without moments of self-expression, which is seen too often by lecturers as being distractive, problematic or disruptive.

Why are teachers so quick to remove students from the educational system placing them in PRUs, instead of extending compassion and finding out and trying to understand what is happening in their young lives and in doing so, arrange to have a fact finding meeting with parents/guardians, where all can hear from the child/young adult that was misbehaving, why that was the case. They may say things not even their parents realised! Teachers, Lecturers, If a parent needs to be present for the kind of questions you intend to ask, then they must be called as being "loco parentis’ you are deemed to do everything for children in their best interest as a parent would in the educational facility, not as was seen in the case of Child Q in a London Borough School.

I do not know how to really express how this incident has made me feel, but I can say that students are not the schools property to do with as they see fit. Teachers cannot discipline a student if in doing so, they know what they do would cause the student distress, confusion, alarm or distress to the parents also, due to them not being involved in the decision making process. I have thought hard and long about this one reflecting on my time in School Communities and the fact is there are too many parents (and students) that would be able to say that a school member of staff abused their powers given to them in the school setting. Internal exclusion of their child or detention happening often, because of the application of bias! The teacher did not like their child! Unfortunately this continues to this day.

Parents with a positive solution focused Coach/Advocate, appointing one to be with you, enables Teachers, Governors and members of the Multi Disciplinary Team attending the Panel Meeting to be exposed and these situations managed well. I have personally done this with great success, where in one particular case, the child that was going to be excluded was not and was recognised as Gifted and Talented months later.

When parents choose to get involved the right way, not arguing but calmly addressing matters exposing how a teacher or teachers have acted inappropriately by applying prejudice which is seen in schools, it would be expected that an unbiased Senior Member of the School generally the Headteacher would see to it that the teacher was addressed and if not them, the Chair of Governors. Taking your case to the Local Government Ombudsman is a last resort and if it needs to happen then you need to present your case. As it is not just for your child, as other children that will continue to be in the school will be subjected to the same psychological distress, if nothing is exposed.

This is something parents need to be more aware of because your child does have rights. So, instead of sending your children to school and trusting everyday is going well, engage with them more than you may have been doing and find out exactly how their day has been after school and manage feedback received accordingly. If you did not do this before now, it is needed NOW.

Abuse or Prejudice in any establishment is NOT acceptable and changes will only happen, educators removed from practicing, only if parents do what is needed at the time of any events. I recommend to all parents that talk to me about concerns to start collating information in a folder either a physical one or a digital one on a computer and whenever situations arise that are discussed after school during meal times, bedtime or any other time, updating the information held and as and when needed discuss its contents with the school at an appointed time, unless of course it is a pressing matter that needs to be dealt with immediately! Then, parents must take the time off work and address urgent matters urgently.

NO job is more important than your child’s welfare. What I advise is what I did when my children were in school, Primary through to College many years ago, and I represented children that were not my own because it was about what children witnessed that upset them also, that I felt compelled to have a discussion and managed as too many parents did nothing.

Together students, parents, guardians and educators can formulate a plan of action to respectfully care for every child or young adult that is being educated. A Plan that summarises that which was discussed and how it will be managed for the period of time stated.

Will Child Q still be suffering from what she has been subjected to in 2022 in years to come? Unfortunately, I believe she will need extensive psychological support to overcome what she has been subjected to and there is no financial compensation that will be able to remove the mental torture in the public humiliation she endured and what was a blatant violation of Child Qs rights.

What we have to ensure now moving forward, is that it never happens to a child, black nor white, no child should ever have to go through anything like that again.