Looking Fear in The Eye
Posted on April 09, 2012 by Andrea Winzer, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Overcoming fear to move forward boldly and unafraid
We all know it, this unpleasant feeling of fear creeping up inside. We would like to try something new, venture down a new path, or do something crazy for once. But there is this fear holding on to us and not letting go.
How many chances have you let go because of fear? How many times have you pushed away an urge you felt deep down inside to get up and get moving because you were afraid of a new beginning, a change?
Stepping out of our comfort zone is scary and way too often we allow these feelings of fear to take over. Self doubts love to partner with our fears in those situations and their combined forces form a brick wall that is almost impossible to break.
But how can we do it differently? Is there an approach to new things where we can deal with the fear and feel the fear and do it anyway?
Fear originally is a safety mechanism that has a very important function – to keep us safe. Our eyes see danger and fear makes us run. Our brain judges a certain situation as harmful, and we flee. Looking at it from this point of view, fear is actually doing us a favor when there is real danger around. BUT, in those situation where we are longing for a change and want to venture on a new path, fear gets in the way. In these situations, fear does not serve us, because there is no real danger, there is just the uncomfortable feeling of stepping out of our comfort zone.
F.E.A.R. can read as “False Evidence Appearing Real”. Makes sense? Our brain judges a situation as “dangerous” based on our memories and past experiences and steps on the emergency brake. But if you look closer and evaluate the situation under a different light, the new situation might be unknown, it might be an adventure to try out new things, or it might even take some effort on our side to change, grow, and develop. But there is no real evidence for danger to your life!
If you are willing to go one step further, you can also see that fear is very strongly woven together with EXCITEMENT. Excitement about something new happening, about your growth, about a long desired change, whatever it is for you. Now, if you can learn to look fear in the eye and stare it down, you will feel a sense of excitement expanding inside of you that gives you the power to work through your fear and move towards you goal.
QUESTIONS TO PONDER:
What makes me fearful?
What “false” evidence seems so dangerous to me?
Is it real, is it true, or is it only a shadow of the past or a construct of my brain?
ACTION TIP:
Write all your fears that are connected with a certain situation you want to change on a piece of paper. Take your time with it and write it all out. Every single detail, every single thought. This will help you to look the fear monster in the eye and you will develop more strength and courage to stand up for what you want. Then burn, drown (in a bucket of water), or bury (in your backyard) this piece of paper as a symbolic action that fear will no longer stand in your way and that in this situation you will move through this blockage and create the situation you are dreaming of!
Talk to your fears and listen to their messages. They serve a purpose in your life and you can learn what you need to look at, so you can solve it, leave it behind and move forward.
Happiness and Joy!
