Seven Habits that Threaten Your Success
Posted on April 06, 2012 by Julie Overholt-Dearing, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
Just because you experience something every day, doesn't mean it's good for you.
Success. Is there a seven letter word in our vocabulary that sells more product and service and inspires us to create and do more than our own images around success?
Billions of dollars in revenue are created in the form of books, audiotapes, videotapes and seminars that promise new, improved ways of achieving success. My own profession came about as a result of people’s desire to get to their own definition of success faster, smarter, and easier. Yes, admittedly, I’m in the “success biz”, too, and even I would be hard pressed to find a concept that impacts my clients more.
That said I don’t necessarily believe that success is always about adopting a completely new life strategy. Many times, the first place to start is the last place many of us think about—taking a look at what is already in place and making it stronger. Namely, every day habits, behaviors and beliefs that are at some level both working and limiting us. Armchair philosopher Robert Cory said it best in his book, Bottom Lines to Life: “Don’t look for what makes you happy in life – deal with what prevents you from it.”
And, that is exactly where I would like to direct you to take a look. What are the everyday habits that threaten your success? Considering that each of us have a unique way of operating our life, I’m sure there are hundreds, maybe even thousands of habits we could look at. Here are the seven everyday habits that seem to surface a lot for professionals today!
Everyday Tolerations. It seems as though tolerating situations and relationships that are not the way we want them to be is being worn like a badge of honor. People say, “I work best under stress” and they honestly believe it. I worked with a guy once that was addicted to the power of stressing out the people that worked with him. He would pop his head into his staff’s office unexpectedly and growl, “Coffee, tea or me?” While it is true that we do have to compromise in life, it is also important to know that every time we tolerate something personally and professionally, it steals energy from us that we could be using to create something exactly the way we want it.
Everyday Skepticism. Skepticism is sometimes appropriate, but I find people can get in the habit of treating it as though it is the truth. Skepticism is healthy and normal when we move into territory that is unknown to us. The problem occurs when we let doubt and disbelief keep us from moving in a new direction. New directions will be accompanied by some measure of uncertainty, so don’t let the normal measure of skepticism you might be feeling stop you. I prefer to view skepticism this way: When I enter a new intersection in life, skepticism is the yellow light in a traffic signal, not the red one.
Everyday Assumptions. We all make them even though there’s no way to accurately measure how much they cost us in attaining our full measure of success. Probably the most costly is our assumption that most people share our views on life. I suspect that the odds are better on winning the lottery than finding that one person that views life exactly the way we do. Turn your assumptions inside-out by acknowledging how diverse people are and how those differences work for the positive. People that are unlike us some times like to do the things we dislike doing.
Everyday Communication. Clean, honest communication is the foundation of all our relationships and solid relationships are many times instrumental in reaching our objectives. Yet, it has gotten easier to not communicate. Voice mail, e-mail, pagers leave too much to personal interpretation and are only effective tools for the transfer of data. The transfer of data is important, but creating life changing solutions and being viewed as a person with influence happens within the context of meaningful communication.
Everyday Wisdom. I believe that inside all of us resides solutions to many of our problems. In our search for the perfect solution, we can become paralyzed if we take in too much information. Adding more information can slow down the process of getting to the bottom line and make the problem-solving process bigger. Sometimes bigger than the problem. Learn to trust your inner wisdom which factors in your life experiences.
Everyday Balance. It may seem like an absurd idea but clear your mind and let this sink in anyway: If you want more success in your professional life, then invest in your life outside of your profession. This is an especially difficult concept for those of us that believe success is directly proportionate to the amount of effort we invest. Work cultures impart the same ideas and information to each employee in exactly the same way. That process is deliberate and designed to help the organization meet its objectives and goals. (You may be lucky enough to work for an organization that wants to support your success in the process, but that is not how they stay in business.) Life balance in the form of a rich, well-defined personal life will provide ideas, energy and inspiration that work specifically for you. Life balance feeds your happiness and well-being so that you can bring better ideas and effort to your company, and has the added benefit of keeping you in the best possible place personally.
Every Day. Treat every day as though it is the most important day of your life. Yes, I am treading on turf that is overwrought with clichés. But the truth about clichés is that they exist because they are exactly what they appear to be—a truth that is so obvious that it is common place. Like the nose on our face, do we some times forget the cost of walking through today ignoring how much richer our life would be if we gave today more value than tomorrow or yesterday?
Habits are really just patterned behaviors and responses. Many of them we learn from elders and mentors. We adopt those beliefs before we really understand the consequences of what they create for us. However, we do all have to take responsibility for sustaining them when we discover the impact they have in our life. Reshaping an everyday habit is not necessarily painful. In fact, it can bring you a lot of pleasure and put you exactly where you want to be!
