Parental Stress

Posted on March 23, 2012 by Anahi Ortiz, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Parenting is such a difficult part of life for many people. Maybe you’re a professional trying to apply all the parenting techniques and recommendations out there but time and fatigue sometimes just get in the way. Or, maybe you are a stay at home mom raising several children but you don’t always feel so upbeat about what you are doing. Then there are parents who are divorced and co-parenting or single parents doing it alone. Throw in having a child with a learning disorder, special needs or who is medically fragile, a child with autism or ADHD/ADD or a child with behavioral problems, what do parents do?
Parents have successfully been able to raise their children in a variety of situations. How do they do it? For many, support has been the key. Family support is always the best. Having a supportive spouse, an understanding parent or a sibling can make all the difference when you need someone to share with or need advice. If you don’t have that family support however, support from close friends is just as important. One other type of support no less important is the support group. There are support groups for single parents, divorced parents, stay at home parents, parents of multiples, professional parents and parents with children that have a variety of conditions. Fifteen years ago I moved to central Ohio after a divorce, with my three children. I was a single mother with an 8 y.o. with ADHD, twins and working full time as a pediatrician. If it wasn’t for the support of my family I would not have made it!
There are situations when support may not be enough in these cases there are alternatives. A few weeks ago I wrote about mindful meditation and ADHD on my blog. Mindfulness has also been used with parenting especially in those parents with children who have a medical condition or an externalizing condition such as ADHD and autism. Some of the effects it may have are :(1) reducing parental stress; (2) reducing parental preoccupation resulting from parental and/or child psychopathology; (3) improving parental executive functioning in impulsive parents; (4) breaking the cycle of repeating dysfunctional own upbringing habits; (5) increasing self-nourishing attention; and (6) improving marital functioning and co-parenting. This is done by developing the qualities of listening with full attention when interacting with their children, cultivating emotional awareness and self-regulation in parenting, and bringing compassion and nonjudgmental acceptance to their parenting interactions.
Another thought for parents having difficulties in their parenting or parent – child interaction is something called parent management training. If any of you have read The Explosive Child, you have learned about parent management training. It is a collaborative partnership between parent and child where a parent using a child’s learning skills level will work with the child on finding the best approach to his or her challenging behavior. For more detailed info and some videos visit www.thinkkids.org.
Last, but not least is parent coaching especially for parents of children with ADHD or children who are challenging. A parent coach will use their coaching skills and support to help parents through the areas they need it most. A coach can help you to:
• Understand how ADHD affects your child cognitively, behaviorally, and emotionally
• Gain knowledge, and strategies to enable you to be a confident and effective parent
• Identify your child’s needs, set goals and build strategies, utilizing their strengths to compensate for their weaknesses

I hope to have given each of you some ideas for parenting support and assistance. If you need further information, or have questions please contact me. If you would just like to add to my ideas and resources, again please contact me.
Anahi Ortiz M.D.
AO- Coach and Organizer