Confidence - The Road to Freedom

Posted on March 14, 2012 by Diane Allen, One of Thousands of Business Coaches on Noomii.

Confidence – The Road to Freedom
By Diane Allen

Think of the last time you wanted to do something, but didn’t have the confidence to try. Were you disappointed? If you said yes, you are not alone. One of the biggest areas for self-improvement in our professional and personal lives is confidence. In a survey of 1,022 people conducted by Uncommon Knowledge, Limited, results revealed that 61% cited self-confidence as a problem. This type of survey result is very common among other studies.

Why is the confidence-factor such an important issue? For one, confidence is a basic human need. It affects how we think, feel, and act. Having self-confidence isn’t an end in itself. Think about it as a continuum. The degree to which we are confident usually falls along a spectrum. Self-confident people score higher on the scale, even when they face something entirely new or challenging. Those with low confidence will usually be on the lower end, even when they are very capable. Here are some strategies to improve your self-confidence:

1. Define self-confidence for yourself. Here is a start. Self-confidence is a state of mind where one feels at-ease with every aspect of existence. It is the ability to cope, develop, grow, and achieve. It is a belief in one’s self-worth. Everyone needs to define their own self-confidence. Start by finishing this sentence: For me, self-confidence is. . .

2. Understand why self-confidence is important to you. This understanding comes when one can articulate the ‘why.’ By answering this question, you can begin to define how far along you are in achieving it. For example, one may say self-confidence is important because it enables them to perform well at work. Or it enables an individual to develop close relationships. Everyone can agree with those statements, but it isn’t really important until you attach personal meaning to it. Here is your personal meaning: Self-confidence is important to me because. . .

3. What have you missed recently because of your lack of confidence? Was it applying for a new job, not participating in a social event, or missing the opportunity to meet someone new? We miss out on so many things that life has to offer when we don’t even try. Remember that making mistakes is healthy and often times fruitful. If we didn’t make mistakes, we would never become better. Even those with extremely high confidence make mistakes. They also learn from them. Be honest with yourself. “My lack (regardless of how little bit) of self-confidence has caused me to miss. . .”

4. Now the real work begins. This is central to building confidence. What would you do differently if you were more confident? It could be in any area of your life. Whatever that ‘something’ is, put it in writing: “If I had as much self-confidence as I wanted, I would. . .”

• List the benefits to be derived from doing that ‘something.’
• List the fears you have around doing it.
• Most importantly, list a counter strategy to overcome the fear

A final word on fear – it is natural to be fearful. Fear keeps us safe. However, it also paralyzes us. The ability to confront our fears builds strength and confidence. Most fears can be confronted. It takes fortitude, patience, and planning.

Try these additional confidence practice-builders:

1. Identify what you did well on a daily basis. Write them down.
2. Select a quote on confidence that really resonates with you. Recite it daily.
3. Feel gratitude about your positive qualities. They are yours and they are special.
4. Enlist the support of a friend, mentor, or coach with whom you can confide. Our supporters do wonders in helping point out our self-worth.
5. Put yourself in an action-mode. Select something that you enjoy doing, and make it better every week. Those actions will most surely build self-confidence.
6. Reward yourself for your accomplishments. We often neglect to celebrate successes. Regardless of how small the success, acknowledge and celebrate it.
7. Identify the freedom that confidence gives you. Freedom means many different things. The ability to feel free is a state of mind that we all should experience.

As you do the prescribed exercises, you are bound to have some eye-opening thoughts. There will be things you want to change, and things you want to acknowledge about yourself. Put them all together and keep a focus on you. The more confident you are, the wiser you will be. And that’s worth a lot.

Diane Allen, PCC is the Managing Principal of Diane Allen Coaching Solutions LLC. She is a professional business and executive coach, and organizational development consultant. She has over twenty years’ experience coaching leaders, executives, and entrepreneurs to enhance their business, professional, and personal life skills. She holds a B.S. in Business Administration and a M.S. in Training and Organization Development from St. Joseph’s University. She serves on the Boards of Directors of a national corporation, and teaches at the undergraduate and graduate level at several colleges and universities. Diane is a contributing author to two books: Ready, Aim, Excel, and Living an Extraordinary Life. She can be reached at: 609-206-0990 or through email: diane@dianeallencoaching.com. For more information, please visit: www.dianeallencoaching.com