Tell me again. What exactly do you do? (Five Life Coaching Facts)

Posted on March 12, 2012 by Pamela Rudisill CPC, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.

I talk to so many coaches during the week, it almost comes as a surprise when people ask me about my business, then give a puzzled look and ask, “What is a life coach?” Let’s dig into this here and now before moving on to specific coaching topics in future articles. Here’s a list of five facts about coaching I hope will make things clearer.

1. Coaching IS NOT therapy, consulting, or mentoring.

Therapy often focuses on the past and getting to the root of a problem. It is most often used when someone is ill or has a specific mental health diagnosis. Coaching focuses on the present and future, and helps you develop the most effective way to reach your goals, whether they be personal or professional.

Consulting assumes that the person doing the consulting has knowledge and experience in a particular area that is beyond that of the person being consulted. The consultant is often hired to provide a specific solution to a problem. In the coaching relationship, you are the expert of your own life, not the coach. The coach’s purpose is to help you to uncover and utilize your self-expertise in order to reach your goals and/or create lasting personal transformation.

Similar to consulting, mentoring implies that the mentor has great experience in your subject of interest. Typically, the mentor is older or in a higher professional station than the mentee and gives specific advice and strategies for how to move ahead in your career or situation. A coach does not give advice but instead provides the opportunity for self-development by asking powerful questions, observing your actions and performance, providing feedback, and helping you to learn and gain new perspectives. A coach helps you find the answers that work for you.

2. A coach DOES NOT give advice, but will provide resources.

People sometimes ask, “Well, if you’re not going to give me advice, what am I paying for?” Let’s explore this. Have you ever taken advice from someone, implemented it, only to find that while it worked for them, it was not right for you? We all have different styles of learning, different mindsets and perspectives, different methods of follow-thru, and different emotional reactions to change. Outside influences factor in as well, including our relationships and work environment. You are your own best expert. You only need someone to believe that is true and provide the opportunity, tools and resources to help you tap into that expertise.

3. Coaching is all about YOU.

The time spent with your coach is all about discovering what you want from your life and creating a plan to achieve it. This may include exploring your interests to determine if you need a career change and then creating a plan for the transition. It could be about improving your relationships or finding a better work-life balance. Perhaps you’ve been down lately or disappointed in your life but you can’t pinpoint why. You might benefit from a change in perspective and the opportunity, and permission, to dream. Gratitude and mindfulness can work wonders but how do you practice them? Your coach is your confidant, cheerleader, guide and accountability partner. They provide support and if needed, a constructive reality-check.

4. Not all coaches are RIGHT for you.

There are business coaches, sport coaches, coaches who help you lose weight and coaches who help you process grief. You can find a coach for just about anything but to find the right one for you, it is important to ask yourself the following questions:

• Does this coach offer a complimentary discovery session so we can get to know each other before making any commitments?

• Do I feel comfortable talking with this coach? Do I feel confident they are really listening to me? Is there a connection?

• How likely is it that I can develop a trusting and respectful relationship with him or her?

• Do I feel that we are equal partners in the coaching relationship?

Your coach should have your best interests at heart. If you suspect this is not true, there’s no need to immediately panic. Discuss your feelings with your coach to determine if you are, indeed, a “good fit.” Would you and I work well together? Read this.

5. The client must be COACHABLE.

What do I mean by “coachable?” You, the client, must have a goal that will move you forward into where you want to be in the future. Are you committed to changing your life for the better, and taking the action steps necessary to get there? Are you open to developing your self-awareness, and to accept feedback and/or suggestions from your coach? Are you willing to invest in yourself and your future with time, effort and money in order to achieve your goal? It has been my experience that people achieve quicker and better results if they’ve invested something of import. I firmly believe you can achieve great things with a coach by your side. No coach can guaranty results; it all depends on you.