Overcoming Life's Challenges
Posted on March 06, 2012 by Sarah Goldberg, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
What determines who succeeds in life and who struggles? Why do some people overcome life's challenges better than others?
Overcoming Life’s Challenges
By Sarah Benenson Goldberg, CPCC
Success is being able to overcome life’s challenges. So what really determines success? A recent article in The New York Times, “The Character Test,” suggests it is more than just a good education, high test scores, and support. Renowned lecturer and author, Paul Stoltz, PhD, says it is much more than a high IQ or EQ that makes someone succeed where others fail. The key ingredient to overcoming life’s challenges is a blend of resilience, grit and tenacity. It’s the mindset and spirit of unyielding courage in the face of hardship. It’s one’s ability to withstand, surmount and overcome adversity. Mr. Stoltz measures this ability as Adversity Quotient (AQ). Successful people all share a high AQ, demonstrated in a common drive to progress, move forward and achieve their goals. People with high AQ are more optimistic than pessimistic and see themselves as leaders rather than victims. They accept accountability rather than place blame. Stoltz defines three types of people in the world with high, medium, and low AQ:
Quitters: They drop out, back out or cop out when things get tough. They exert minimal effort to get by and use limiting language like, “Can’t, Who cares, It’s not worth it, That’s impossible, We tried that” and so on. They lack belief in their own ability to overcome their circumstances.
Campers: They begin the ascent up the mountain of life, then settle at a safe location, not willing to push themselves outside their comfort zone. They use compromising language like, “That’s good enough, It’s not worth it, What’s the least needed to complete this job?” They try harder than the quitter, but they never feel the thrill of seeing the view from the top of the mountain. At first, they reveal glimmers of high AQ, but ultimately they settle, avoiding challenge or hardship.
Climber: They are dedicated to progress and to reaching the top of the mountain. They see possibilities and recognize they are in control of their choices. Fear does not stop them from trying something new or taking on challenges. Despite their circumstances, they turn obstacles into opportunities. Climbers are accountable, taking responsibility for their decisions. They are able to overcome life’s challenges.
TIPS FOR INCREASING YOUR AQ
1. Recognize How You Habitually Respond To Adversity: If you use words like, “never, always, no one, I can’t,” then you have a tendency to see limitations when you are faced with adversity. Acknowledge and accept the adversity, then ask yourself, “Now what’s possible?”
2. Take Ownership Rather Than Blame: Be accountable. What choice or decision of yours contributed to the origin of this adverse situation?
3. Find The Learning: Ask yourself what you learned in this situation. How might you do it differently next time?
TIPS FOR INCREASING YOUR CHILD’S AQ.
1. Experience Natural Consequences: If your child makes a poor choice, accept that he or she will experience natural consequences. They must feel the need to change and harness their own motivation to do so. If you help your child avoid natural consequences, he or she won’t know how to deal with adversity when the stakes get higher.
2. Ask Rather Than Tell: Rather than lecture your child on what’s right or wrong, ask your child what he thinks of the situation or what she feels she learned.
3. Help Your Child Take Action: What can she do to alleviate the problem, regain credibility, accept responsibility or make better decisions?
