Factors Determining Initial Attraction

Posted on February 18, 2012 by Justin Bryant, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.

Learning about initial attraction and how to make positive impressions is a topic that has greatly interested me. It is something that could benefit everyone, from the employee striving to get promoted within his company or the student seeking to get a date for the weekend. Each of us by learning about initial attraction and first impressions would be able to progress much further in our interpersonal relationships. Many research studies have been conducted about what motivates initial attraction and how people can create positive first impressions within their initial encounters.

Most people can point out several obvious answers why they are initially attracted to some people and not to others, such as a person’s physical attractiveness as pointed out in Aron et al. (1989). However, some of the findings in these studies are not so obvious, such as how similar we are to one another in interests, attitudes and values as found in Sprecher et al. (1998). She also discovered in her research various gender specific effects. For example, men put more emphasis on physical attractiveness than women, however, women put more emphasis on the sense of security and stability they perceive they would have with a man. Our proximity to one another was also a significant factor in determining our attraction not only in interpersonal distance such as in conversations but also the relative proximity of our living conditions.

Another interesting result found in Ray and Floyd’s research of Nonverbal Expressions of Liking and Disliking in initial Interaction: Encoding and Decoding Perspectives is how nonverbal expressions influence impressions especially the pitch in a voice when speaking. They found that “participants (1st participant) social attraction to the confederates (2nd participant in their study) was related to confederates smiling, head nodding, gaze, proximity, pitch, variation, and their forward leaning…” We can see the there are several factors other than our physical appearance that also play vital roles in initial attraction. Many times people don’t even realize they are exhibiting these kinds of nonverbal gestures or postures.
Friedman, Riggio and Casella in their research Nonverbal Skill, Personal Charisma and Initial Attraction found that “…emotionally expressive, extroverted, and physically attractive subjects were evaluated more favorably in these initial encounters than were subjects scoring low in these dimensions.” For their study they asked the question “How then can we explain the tremendous (appeal) of such celebrities such as Denis Hoffman, Humphrey Bogart, and Lisa Minnelli, who are not classic beauties, and the interpersonal success of various average sales persons and politicians?” Their research also offers support to several of the non-verbal cues mentioned earlier. They go on to say “such cues may have a great impact on initial attraction— an influence beyond physical attractiveness.”
Does this mean that there is hope for the average “Joe or Jane”? Can we all be successful in obtaining attractive status? According to many of these articles the answer is yes. You don’t have to be a “bombshell beauty” nor a “babe magnet” to be perceived as attractive in the eyes of another, although as research indicates, it can’t hurt.
Based upon the research that Friedman et al. discovered, our physical attractiveness has little to do with our perceived likeability. “In summary, it appears that being extroverted, emotionally expressive, or a skilled social ‘actor’ can contribute to favorable first impressions above and beyond the effect that physical attractiveness has on judgments of initial likeability.”
If we can teach ourselves to become a little more extroverted and learn to be more emotionally expressive than it seems that naturally people will be more attracted to us, not because we have changed so much physically but because we have adapted characteristics that are socially contagious when it comes to our interpersonal relations with other individuals they cant help but to like us and admire us for who we are.

Initial attraction as described by Craig W. Knapp and Thomas Harwood in their study on Factors In The Determination of Intimate Same-Sex Friendship “…as an individual’s perception on the extent to which he shares situational commonalities with those in his immediate environment. That is: persons are first attracted on the basis of superficial or coincidental characteristics from which a positive prediction of friendship might be made. Such variables as parental and current socioeconomic similarities, age, religion, race, education, and physical attractiveness tell us whether another is approachable.” Similarity plays an important role in our initial social interactions. The more similar we are the more we can relate to others we encounter. It therefore becomes important to have hobbies and activities that we participate in so that we have a greater benefit of having a common ground where as to start conversations and associate ourselves with others.
There are two key gender differences brought up in this article which are interesting to note. First, “Men prefer to a greater degree than woman, someone who is physically attractive; women prefer, to a greater degree than men someone who has high social standing and good earning potential.” Second, “…Women express a greater preference than do men for intrinsic personality qualities such as expressiveness (e.g., Howard et al. 1987; Sprecher 1989b). Another study conducted by Sprecher found in the textbook Intimate Relationships, indicates, “Great Beauty is desirable to men, but it’s not as important as high levels of warmth and loyalty are… Women usually check first to make sure the man has at least some money or prospects, and then they, too, seek as much warmth, kindness, honesty, openness, stability, humor, and intelligence as they can get (Li et al., 2002; Sprecher & Regan, 2002).”
It is important to understand that the more similarities we have with those to whom we are attracted the greater the chances we have in getting involved in a relationship, and in making a positive impression upon. An important thing for a man is to have a purpose or something that he is dedicated to accomplishing and a steady job that shows he is in control of his finances. Women on the other hand should strive to look their best. This doesn’t mean that she needs to smother her face in make-up and be up to date with all the current fashions. It just means that she should look her best with what she’s been given.

Another factor in determining initial attraction that has been researched is that of attachment style. There have been several researchers who have contributed to this theory over the years, I will make mention of only a few. Eva C. Klohen and Shanhong Lou, discovered several interesting indicators of attraction based upon this idea of “attachment styles.” There are three main types of attachment styles secure avoidant and preoccupied originally developed by J. Bowlby back in 1969. However, Klohen and Lou divided them into six groups secure, preoccupied, fearful, dismissing, avoidant and anxious. To help in familiarizing each style J. A. Feeny describes them as such. “People with secure styles tend to be more satisfied with their intimate partnerships (Feeney, 1999).” “Avoidant people have a lack of faith in others that leads them to warily avoid interdependent intimacy, whereas anxious-ambivalent people seek such closeness but nervously fret that it won’t last (Feeney, 1998).”
In Klohen and Lou’s research found that people with the secure attachment style were significantly attractive to all other styles, while those people with a preoccupied attachment style were ranked second in this study the two avoidant styles were rated least attractive. In addition they found that people tended to aspire to be like secure attachment style persons consequently trying to achieve greater attachment security.
To sum it up the attachment theory states that the people we find most attractive are those who have a certain amount of control over their lives and personal well being. These people are comfortable with being themselves and are affluent in expressing their emotions, as well as in reading the emotions of others, they are more likely to enjoy healthy long lasting intimate relationships with their partners and friends and families. Does this mean then that we are trapped into acting a certain way, which we are doomed to fail in becoming secure and in having good relationships? No it does not. “We’re not prisoners of our experiences as children, however, because our attachment styles continue to be shaped by the experiences we encounter as adults (Davila &Cobb, 2003; Davila & Sargent, 2003).”

Matters of Speaking

Clark et al. conducted research on the amount of disclosure performed between men and women and their perceived social attractiveness while doing so in their research entitled Initial Encounters of Young Men and Women: Impressions and Disclosure Estimates. They came to several interesting conclusions. First, that contrary to what they had supposed that men initiated and kept conversation going by talking more; they discovered that conversation was balanced between the two participants. Second, both men and women believed that they portrayed a positive impression of themselves. Third, “the more the partner was perceived to have disclosed, the more positively the partner was viewed, both in terms of social attractiveness and positive attributes (Clark, Dockum, Hazeu, Hoang, Lou, Ramsey and Spyrou).” Fourth, “when men saw their female partners as talking more than they did, rather than diminishing the woman’s social attractiveness, the woman’s social attractiveness was enhanced.”
Their research indicates that social attractiveness is not necessarily based upon how much information each person contributes to the conversation but what type of information they discuss and the means by which they go about getting to discussing it. It suggests that in order to be perceived as socially attractive one must be as good a listener as they are a talker, and that we should allow conversation to flow naturally in order to achieve a balance.
In summary what we can infer from all of the research that has been done in initial attraction? There are several influences on what causes initial attraction not just the selected few that typically come to mind such as one’s physical appearance and body language. There are also factors such as our similarity to others (age, sex, race, education and economic status.) with whom we are interacting and our attachment style, whether —we are secure avoidant or anxious. Everyone tends to favor people who are secure. Other important factors are our speech and how we say things, the rate in which we speak, how much we speak, as well as the tone and pitch of our voice.
Emotionally expressive and/or extroverted people are often charismatic and attractive to others even though they aren’t necessarily physically attractive. Individuals who are able to express their emotions clearly, as well as accurately depict the emotions of others, one who is highly emotionally attuned can relate to others at a higher level than most people.
In conclusion there are many things that one does or that one can learn to do in creating a positive initial attraction in their encounters with someone new. There really isn’t perfect answer to what makes someone attractive or a definitive definition as to what attraction is because it depends on the person, the time, the place, and the circumstances surrounding you and the others in your initial interaction. We can only do our best to look our best and be our best for when those moments come.

References
Clark, R. A. , Dockum, M., Hazeu, H., Huang, M. , Luo, N. , Ramsey, J., & Spyrou, A., (2004). Initial encounters of young men and women: impressions and disclosure estimates. Sex Roles, 50, (pp. 699-709).
Friedman, H, S., Riggio, R. E., & Casella, D. F. (1998) Nonverbal skill, personal charisma, and initial attraction. Personality and Psychology Bulletin, Vol. 14.
Klohnen, E. C., & Luo, S. Interpersonal attraction and personality: what is attractive—self similarity, ideal similarity, complementarity, or attachment security? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 2003, 85 , (pp. 709-722).
Knapp, W. C. , & Harwood, T. B. ( 1977). Factors in the determination intimate same-sex friendship. The Journal of Genetic Psychology,, 131, (pp. 83-90).
Miller, R. S., Perlman, D., & Brehm, S. S. (2007) Intimate Relationships: 4th Ed.. New York: McGraw Hill.
Ray, G. B. , & Floyd, K. (2006) Nonverbal expressions of liking and disliking in initial interaction: encoding and decoding perspectives. Southern Communication Journal Vol. 71, (pp. 45-65).
Ruth Anne Clark “Initial encounters of young men and women: impressions and disclosure estimates”. Sex Roles: A Journal of Research. . FindArticles.com. 22 Nov. 2008. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2294/is_9-10_50/ai_n6123932
Sprecher, S. (1998). Insiders’ perspectives on reasons for attraction to a close other. Social Psychology Quarterly, 61, (pp. 287-300). retrieved from the Web March 12, 2008. http://www.jstor.org