When Things Go Badly: The powerful effects of the story you tell yourself
Posted on January 28, 2012 by Dawn Trautman, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
We want to think that first the world is one way and then we form our story as a response to the world. I find that it's the other way around.
I am fascinated with the stories that people tell themselves about things that happen in their lives. They generally don’t just recount a series of events in their life, they also give a short commentary on those events. In fact, they become so invested in the commentary that sometimes they cannot separate it from the facts.
On some level, what actually happened doesn’t matter as much as the story you tell yourself (and others) about what happened.
For example, what was the toughest challenge you faced this weekend? Take a moment to think of something. Do you have an event or an interaction in mind? Great. Now consider what it taught you about the world around you. You may find that you had a big challenge and use it as evidence that you are weak, or that the world is a tough place to be, or that you are a victim in some way. In other words, the world is big and scary and out to get you.
However, this weekend’s toughest challenge may have been an opportunity to resolve something, learn something or grow in another way. Without even realizing it, this weekend’s toughest challenge taught you that you are able to handle certain situations and can move forward toward a healthy life even when faced with challenges.
What story are you telling yourself about who you are in the world and how the world treats you?
I know that some of you are saying, “You have no idea how bad my weekend was.” You’re right, I don’t, but if you’re reading this you must be alive so right there you have something you can be thankful for. You have survived at least to the level that you have the free time and the resources to be reading this blog post.
We want to think that first the world is one way, and then we form our story as a response to the world. However, I find that we often have built a story and then look for the world to support that story.
If you don’t like what you are seeing in your life, change your story. You’ll find evidence to support your new, more helpful story.
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Do you know a smart, creative, spiritually-minded person who might be interested in this blog post? Please forward it in its entirety, compliments of Dawn Trautman, Urban Nomad. Copyright, 2012.
