The Battle Within: A Woman’s Journey to Self-Discovery

Posted on April 23, 2025 by Helena Arsenijevic, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Women are incredibly complex beings… wives, mothers, career women, homemakers… capable of bringing new life into the world, inspiring the masses, ruling the world — yet they can’t seem to overcome their greatest and most powerful opponent: themselves.

The term “only” opponent is used deliberately here. Because I truly believe that’s the case. A woman is either her greatest driving force or her worst enemy. Unfortunately, more often this second one. She holds herself back, limits herself, withdraws in the face of others’ moral principles and values. And then what happens? Not knowing herself well enough, she shapes her behavior based on someone else’s values, principles, and norms… she builds walls, sets boundaries, while all she truly wants is the freedom to make her own choices, the right to her own mistakes, the right to start again. To breathe freely.
Caught in the confusion between unacknowledged desires and external values, there is a battle within her — one self longing for recognition, validation, and respect, and the other imposed self that hinders and trips her at every step.
By overcoming that opponent, it’s not just a battle that’s won — it’s the whole war. There is no greater victory than mastering yourself, your thoughts, your desires, and your emotions. Another crucial thing is to be honest with yourself. Brutally honest… To let the subconscious mind speak its truth, take off the gloves and dive deep into your own being, your desires and dreams — to bring them to light. And then… whichever path we choose, let it be our choice. At least it will be a conscious one.
Know that not everyone will always understand you or support you — and that’s okay.
What matters is that you know where you’re going, and that you’re certain it’s your path. Along the way, the people around you will naturally filter themselves out, and your circle will become clearer. Just believe in yourself.
Getting to know yourself is very complex terrain. And not all of us are ready to embark on that path at any given moment. But I firmly believe that while self-discovery is the hardest, most challenging, yet most beautiful journey you can choose for yourself, it’s also inevitable — especially for women once they enter their forties.
Every stage of life is beautiful in its own way, every decade brings something special with it. Youth is youth — let’s be real — but I love this current stage of my life so much, the maturity and the insights I’ve gained, that I wouldn’t go back to my early youth for anything. On the contrary, I look forward to every new year that comes, because I know it will bring new experiences and new challenges.
When I began my journey of personal development and was introduced to the basics of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), I was so impressed that I shared my excitement, discoveries, and self-awareness with everyone, thinking they’d all share my enthusiasm. Ah, the price of inexperience… Most people looked at me with confusion, and the first comment I got was: “Are you sure this isn’t some kind of cult…?”
What truly “nourished” me there — beyond all the knowledge, learning, and inner work — were the people. Accomplished, self-aware individuals who came with the same goal: to work on themselves.
A few years later, I went on to do the NLP Master program — but only when I felt the need to continue. People asked me why I took a break, but I was certain that was the right move for me. Time needed to pass. The pieces had to fall into place. I had to process what I’d unconsciously absorbed and develop a genuine desire to move forward… more precisely, to feel the need to go deeper and further into self-discovery.
Life has many scenarios prepared for us and assigns us various roles — and our only task is not to lose ourselves while playing them.
To find balance and harmony among them. For example, I used to believe that a woman could only feel complete and fulfilled if she managed to balance and succeed equally in the roles of wife, mother, and career woman. But then I started listening — really listening — to my friends and acquaintances, of whom I have many, and all of them are different. One is single and wants to get married, another just wants a partner, a third only wants a child, a fourth wants both a husband and a child, a fifth is already married with children, a sixth doesn’t want children, a seventh is planning to divorce, an eighth is already divorced with or without children, and a ninth is chasing her career… there are countless variations.
Reflecting on each one of them and speaking with them, I changed my old belief about what it means to be a “fulfilled woman.”
We are not all the same — there is no rule, no formula for such a thing. That was just one of my beliefs. What truly matters is what fulfills us personally and, above all, what makes us happy. If we set aside the expectations imposed by society, the truth is — not all of us are meant for the same role. Not all of us are born to be mothers, not all of us are meant for a partner, and no — not all of us are meant for a career or for children.
Whatever it is that fulfills you — that is the path you should follow.
Self-realization is what matters most.
When we step out of all those life roles, who are we then?
If someone asked you to describe yourself — what would you say?
Who are you when you’re not in any imposed role — not a mother, not a wife, not a coworker, not a boss?
What is it that you subconsciously long for, that drives you forward?
What is it that fulfills you and makes you happy? What makes your heart dance?
Try to answer these questions honestly for yourself.
When you truly want something, you subconsciously start working toward it.
That’s why it’s so important to dream — and even more important to visualize.
Once you discover who you are, protect that core part of yourself.
You never know when you’ll need to regenerate.
A woman is the best version of herself when she is confident and content within.
Have you ever had a problem with a beautiful, smart, accomplished woman? No, of course not — I’m certain of it. Because women like that don’t have time to meddle in other people’s lives or affairs. Those women have only one project — themselves.
She takes care of her mental hygiene, chooses the people she surrounds herself with wisely.
She puts herself first.
This might sound selfish to some, but it’s not.
There’s nothing wrong with being your own priority — with working on discovering and understanding yourself the best you can.
Think about it:
Who will love us if we don’t love ourselves first?