Between Generations

Posted on April 09, 2025 by Kamila Castellanos , One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

They’re also living life for the first time.

The other day I was talking to a friend about some struggles she’s been having with her mom. She told me they just can’t connect — that they “have different views of life” and for her, that wasn’t okay. She felt hurt and rejected, especially because there’s this inner voice — a leftover echo of her mother — constantly reminding her that change isn’t good. That she should take the same steps her mom did, and nothing beyond that.

And it got me thinking…

We often forget that our parents are also living life for the first time. That every mistake, every reaction, every unresolved trauma — they didn’t come here with a manual either. They’re figuring things out as they go, just like we are. The only difference is that we now have more tools — more access, more conversations, more freedom to question.

My friend shared a memory that had stuck with her. When she was eight, she asked why her aunt was pregnant, and her mom and grandma told her it was because she had taken some pills for the flu. That was their explanation. Years passed, and nobody ever corrected it. Now that she’s a teacher and has to answer these kinds of questions herself, the resentment came back. She wondered: How could they say something like that — and not even remember?

But the truth is, we live in Latin America. And although that’s not an excuse, it is context. Sex wasn’t something we talked about back then. There was shame, silence, and awkwardness — and sometimes the quickest way out of a conversation was a little white lie.

For them, it was probably just a passing moment. For her, it shaped something.

And maybe that’s the point: we will see life differently. We’ll understand things they don’t, and they’ll hold onto beliefs that feel foreign to us. But time moves fast, and each generation is forced to catch up in ways that aren’t always easy. The tools they had, the knowledge they had access to — it’s not what we have now.

So instead of holding anger toward those whose minds weren’t taught to think like ours, maybe we can shift toward something else.

Toward communication.Toward clarity.Toward expressing our needs without expecting them to understand it all.Toward accepting that we are different — and still worthy of love, still capable of connection.

And someday, our kids will probably feel the same about us. Because that’s the rhythm of life.

So talk to them. Talk to your parents. Not from judgment, not from expectation, but from a place of curiosity — of wanting to understand.

We’re all just trying to figure it out.