Why Abuse? Why Trauma?

Posted on April 07, 2025 by Melody Green, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

We have all wondered at one time or another why we fall into the situations we get into. Is it bad luck, misfortune or just karma? We would like to think because we are intelligent that we will see it coming, but we never do.

Abuse comes in many forms. It could be a mental abuse from someone always putting us down or making us feel worthless. It could be physical abuse from someone hitting and pushing us around and hurting us. It could be sexual abuse from someone known or unknown and we feel violated in every part of our being.

Whatever shape the abuse comes in, we must remember that it probably wasn’t something we could control. We end up beating ourselves up because it happen to us. But in reality, if we had control of the situation, it wouldn’t have happened in the first place.

We often end up with the victim mentality because we get stuck in playing the scene over and over again in our head. The only way to heal from something like this is realizing that you were a victim then, but not now.

You have to understand that those people can only hurt you if you let them. You need to understand that you are the only one in control of your life. You need to take control so you can change what is happening or be able to change your mindset. Only you can do this. Once you realize that you can unlock healing, and peace of mind into your life, it only takes you to acknowledge that you want to quit living in that victim mentality. Take charge of your life.

First thing is to make a list of the things you want in your life and second, the things you don’t want in your life. Then you can start down the list.

If you want to have confidence, then read a self help book on how to get confidence or take a class or hire a life coach or mentor. If you want to change the kind of friends you hang out with, make a list of qualities that you would like to have in these friends. They say you are the company that you keep, so remember that.

Second, keep going until you have completed the list, or don’t be afraid to add to it. Similarly, do the same with the list of things you want to get out of your life.

You will shed your personalities several times as you go through your healing. Don’t be afraid of what you will become someone you don’t like. Every time you change something, something better will come along. You will begin to love who you become.