Forgiving Others: Who Does It Really Help?
Posted on March 15, 2010 by Nakita W Scott, One of Thousands of Christian Coaches on Noomii.
Learning how to forgive others the biblical way.
Those of us who are Christians have been taught to model Jesus when it comes to forgiving others. Some of us do it without thought or question while the rest of us hold onto grudges and past hurts. At one point in my life, I wondered what forgiving someone really meant. Does it mean you forget the offense? Are your required to maintain a relationship with the person that caused you pain? How do you actually forgive someone?
In the Bible, 2 Corinthians 2: 5-11 teaches us how to forgive others who have wronged us. I have found that forgiveness requires several characteristic traits. You must have the capacity for understanding, empathy, humility, mercy, compassion and restoration. We are all guilty of hurting someone, whether it was intentional or not. How many of us have prayed and hoped that person would forgive us and welcome us back into their life? Mark 11: 25-26 teaches us to forgive others so that our Father in heaven will forgive us.
So then, if forgiveness of others is required as a Christian duty, how then do we forgive? Everett L. Worthington, Jr. gives a model for forgiveness. It is known as the Pyramid Model to REACH forgiveness.
- R=Recall the hurt calmly and objectively. Avoid victimization and blaming.
- E=Empathize with the person who hurt you in an attempt to understand their position.
- A=Give an Altruistic gift of forgiveness. Keep in mind how unselfishly you were once forgiven and try to give that gift to another person.
- C=Commit publicly to forgive. This solidifies your act of forgiveness and keeps you from recalling and re-experiencing the incident and the negative emotions associated with the incident.
- H=Hold on to forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what happened. After all, experience is the best teacher. However, it does mean letting go of the negative and cold emotions associated with the hurtful event. A healthy resolve may be either forgiveness with reconciliation or forgiving and letting go.
For more spiritual guidance on forgiveness:
• Jeremiah 31: 34
• Micah 7: 18-19
• Matthew 6:12; 18:21-35
• Luke 6: 37; 17:3; 23: 34
• John 8: 1-11
• Romans 12: 19-21
• 1 John 1: 9
