2012 Resolution #8 - Find Something Good
Posted on January 08, 2012 by Maria McInnis, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
#8 in the Resolution Series, today about team work, life and finding something good in every person
Resolve to find something good in every person.
Out of everything I teach in my NLP and motivational classes, this is one of the most difficult things for people to accept. People find it hard sometimes to trust others, or to understand them. This can make finding something good in others a tricky thing at times, especially if we don’t particularly like someone.
Believe it or not everyone is worthy in some way of some praise, because everyone has something that they are good at, or something they care for, and those things matter.Part of keeping a positive attitude, especially in a team environment such as society or most workplaces is finding these things and keeping them in mind.
We all wear masks: ones that hide parts of ourselves from those around us. These masks allow us to move through crowds of people, make small talk and protect us from letting those not within our personal circles from seeing all that there is to see. Some wear these masks like a badge of honour, while others wear them like armour against a world that has lost their trust.
“How long can you wear the mask before it becomes your face?” – P.C. Hodgell
Sometimes, in order to see a person’s true face, we must start by looking for the good things that are in their lives. It creates an empathy in which barriers can safely come down. and which we can begin to understand ourselves and others.
What are the things that you are good at that often gets over look by others? Who do you have the hardest time understanding and working at? Where do their known attitudes have their place, and how can you allow them to turn potential weaknesses into strengths?
A conversation comes to mind that I once had on this topic with someone who was trying to follow this very principal. He was being asked to find good in various people within history who have, at times, been marked down, sometimes deservedly, as villains. One person, who was fit to be tied, asked “What about the devil? There’s nothing good about him!” To his credit he shrugged, grinning mischievously, and replied jovially, “At least he’s determined?” Even she couldn’t help but laugh.
“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.” – William Shakespeare
Another reason why it’s good to follow this practice is one often overlooked, and comes back to a person’s sense of self worth. Sometimes the layers of masks and costumes that a person wears for the world are set into place because they themselves do not see the good things that are within them. They feel there is nothing for them to share of themselves; that there are no strengths they have, or that no one would like the ‘real them‘. Some of these people will try to act invisible, but others will act out, pretending to be someone that they feel they’re not to hide the emptiness they feel inside.
Both of these people have the same underlying issue, and sometimes finding the good thing in them for yourself can help them to realize that they are hiding not only their face, but also their potential to love and be loved. Sometimes finding that one good thing can help them to find or create others. Sometimes doing so can change their very world.
One of my favourite songs in High School reminded me of this concept. “Don’t assume everything on the surface is what you see,” Amanda Marshall sang in her hit “Everybody’s Got a Story”, and the lyrics are as true to me today as they were then. When you begin to look beyond the surface, you will find an ocean of wonders and shadows within every person. You will find love, hurt, caring and anger, but always you will find at least one good thing that can sometimes make all the difference.
