2012 Resolution #5 - Flexibilty
Posted on January 05, 2012 by Maria McInnis, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
#5 in the series on resolutions
Resolve to be flexible in life, and to keep an open mind.
During my training in NLP I learned a lot about the world, and the importance of flexibility. In the world that which is flexible will be the catalyst for change in any system. We see this in natural adaptation and problem solving every single day. The hardiest plants are those that can feed upon more than one type of soil, and those creatures willing to migrate when their environment shifts are the ones who will survive.
“Thus, one able to gain the victory by modifying his tactics in accordance with the enemy situation may be said to be divine.” – Sun Tzu
Being flexible is considered to be one of the keys to personal excellence, but it is also one of the most common problems that people have. From a young age we are told to do things our own way, and though this is excellent advice, most forget to tell people to try new things, and to think outside of the proverbial box.
Dr. Virginia Satire, a family counselor and psychotherapist once said that, contrary to popular belief the strongest instinct is not that of survival, but rather to keep things the same. People destroy their lives trying to do the same thing over and over and over again, always expecting that if they do it enough, that they will get a different outcome or result. This is, literally, the definition of insanity. Thus we must overcome this irrational desire to remain rigid in our ‘ways’ and learn to be like water, changing as we go.
The acorn, in order to grow, does not remain an acorn: it must rise, expand and reach out into possibilities the lowly seed could never have imagined in its infancy. The mighty oak, from an acorn grows, but first the acorn must root itself down into the soil, and reach into the sky. The branches move around obstacles as they come, and reaches further into the soil for water as it moves. If it is not willing to change its initial path of growth, the oak will die.
We must strive to be like the oak, changing from the acorn into the mightiest tree in the forest.
Part of flexibility is keeping an open mind. This is a phrase bandied around quite a bit in our modern world, and one of the most misinterpreted pieces of advice. Keeping an open mind means not allowing yourself to be clouded by illogical thinking, while actively observing your world and seeking things that you might never have noticed before. Keeping an open mind means allowing yourself to consider that maybe you do not know everything that there is to know, and that sometimes maybe, despite your experiences, you might even be wrong.
There is no shame in not knowing something, or being wrong. Rather, these things open up amazing opportunities to learn new things, to expand on old ideas or to even change your life for the better.
“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” – Elanor Roosevelt
Keeping an open mind means admitting that maybe, just maybe, there are strengths, skills and opportunities that you have previously blinded yourself to. It means that maybe there is beauty to be found in some of the oddest places, and people who have amazing things to share, if only you are willing to listen, to watch and to experience all that life has to offer. You must be willing and able to say to yourself: ‘Self, today I am going to keep an open mind, I am going to learn something new, and I am going to experience life a new.’
A young man I worked with recently asked me how it was that I expected him to look at the world differently. He had experienced many hardships, and was jaded to the fact that he could succeed, that he was worth anything or that he even had the ability to learn something new.
I asked him why he chose to wear a sweater that particular day rather than a t-shirt as he had other days (for those of you who don’t live in Nova Scotia, or even Canada may not realize that a sweater is a must as the wind chill can drop temperatures to -22 degrees Celsius or -7.6 Fahrenheit and even lower at times…a t-shirt simply isn’t an option for most) and he gave me a look as though I had gone insane. He told me it was cold outside today. I asked him how he knew that. He told me because he had looked outside, went outside and listened to the weather. “It’s winter!” he finished, seeming exasperated.
I told him that he needed to observe and do the same thing with his life then: to change his mental wardrobe to go with the seasons of his life. The only constant in our lives is change, and we must be willing to change and grow with it. We began to look at his strengths, at his achievements and we discovered that there were indeed things that he wanted to learn.
“But I can’t,” he argued, “It’s too late.”
It is never too late: you must simply be ready to simply do it.
“How will we know how far we can stretch if we don’t try?” – Sue Bender
Keeping an open mind means admitting that we are human, and thus always capable of learning. It means knowing that even if we fall, that we can get back up and try a new way of thinking, of doing and of succeeding. A closed mind, a closed heart and a closed spirit makes one inflexible and incapable. They are the ones saying to themselves ‘I can’t because…” To them I ask “Why?”
It are the ones who say “I CAN because…” who will succeed, and to them I simply say “Yes.”
Without making an attempt, one can neither fail, nor succeed, and in never attempting, the failure is assured. Nothing changes if you never do anything different, so be willing to do something new.
Be flexible, keep an open mind and always be willing to change your mental wardrobe for the seasons of your life, because even though things can get pretty cold outside, there’s always the choice to wear a sweater instead of a t-shirt, and the choice to move forward instead of standing still.
