5 Tips to Breakthrough with your Couples Communication
Posted on October 24, 2024 by Rachel Jackson, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
As a relationship specialist, use this approach to communication and watch your relationship transform.
You want to provide your partner a relationship breakthrough right? I know you want to take the credit… and trust me, I’LL LET YOU. Take all the credit. You deserve a lil’ pick me up and appreciation. Let the relationship transformation begin!
1. MAKE IT ABOUT THEM
First, your partner needs to know you’re approaching the conversation by stepping into their shoes. It will immediately soften them by knowing you care and have been thinking about their perspective. This is the way that the door opens. Share with them that you have been thinking about how these circumstances in the relationship have likely been impacting them.
It is important to name: “I dont want to make assumptions or speak for you but when I have been reflecting and trying to step into your shoes, I imagine that you have been feeling _____________. Is that right?"
2. TAKE SOME OWNERSHIP
Second, your partner needs to know you have thought through the role you play. When you take ownership, their defenses will drop (which is an incredibly important step). This will support YOU too. It will serve in your favor when you take ownership and they, then, release their walls. They feel seen. They now know you care.
It requires your introspection and vulnerability to say: “I want to take responsibility of my part. I know when I ___________, it disrespects your need for ___________. I am sorry. I am aware of how that hurts you.” Make this your own but name how you could do better. “I would imagine I could be better in these situations by ___________."
3. ASK FOR FEEDBACK
Now, you are ready to take your ownership to the next level by hearing from them. Take a deep breath. If you tend to get defensive, trust that their feedback will support you getting your needs met, too.
“Do you have feedback for me? What can I do to support your needs more in these interactions?”
Once they provide feedback, ask any clarifying questions you may have and then thank them for sharing.
4. NAME YOUR COMMITMENT
“Next time, I will take time to slow down and remind myself to ___________.” This will hold you accountable to your word.
5. OFFER THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE
As an act of sealing in this conversation and the beautiful intentionality you created, offer to give them their love language.
Do they like quality time? Plan a date without distractions.
Do they prefer acts of service? Do something for them that you know causes them stress.
Do they feel loved with words of affirmation? Shower them with a compliment or acknowledgement or 2.
Do they prefer gifts? Go grab them flowers, a dessert, or their favorite meal.
Finally, do they feel loved with physical touch? Plan an intentional sensual experience of intimacy, emphasize a kiss before you leave the house, or give them a massage!
6. USE THE SPEAKER-LISTENER TECHNIQUE!
As you learned about in the masterclass, the speaker-listener technique will become your best friend. Use it diligently and when in doubt, watch the video again! View it here!
