How Do You Accept?

Posted on August 01, 2024 by Sean Self, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

We’ve all seen the Instagram memes: “You’ve got to accept yourself. You’ve got to accept what is.” But it often feels impossible, right? “My life sucks! I don’t want to accept that!” Here’s where a crucial distinction comes into play: Acceptance is about the present moment, while resignation is about the future.

Imagine there’s a fire in someone’s home. If they accept the fire, they can call 911 and grab a fire extinguisher to deal with it. But if they don’t accept it, they can’t take any action because they haven’t acknowledged the fire’s existence. On the other hand, if they resign themselves to the fire, thinking “Well, nothing I can do about it. I guess my house is gone,” they give up without trying to save their home.

This distinction is vital. Often, we confuse acceptance with resignation. We say we’ve “accepted” something—“It is what it is”—when in reality, we’ve resigned ourselves to it.

For example, imagine a 20-year-old who hasn’t had a girlfriend and feels ashamed or sad about it. Acceptance means acknowledging this fact and the associated feelings, allowing them to move forward. Resignation, however, involves dismissing these feelings, saying “It is what it is,” and invalidating themselves, which suppresses emotions and causes further problems.

Take time to reflect on areas in your life where you think you’ve accepted something. Is there a sense of resignation instead? If so, identify your emotions around that situation and validate them. Start by acknowledging that what you’re feeling makes sense and explore why. If needed, seek support from loved ones or professionals. As you process these emotions, genuine acceptance becomes easier, paving the way for positive action.