From Internal Turmoil to Collective Transformation

Posted on July 20, 2024 by Danielly Kaufmann, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

This morning, right after waking up, I found myself reflecting on something a patient I visited at a psychiatric clinic told me. He said he thinks he understands what’s happening and why he’s going through this issue. He mentioned feeling like there’s something inside him he can’t get rid of—something evil, almost as if he was implying he had a demon within him.

Starting from the principle that we are all equal without being the same, I reflected on how each of us has one or several of these “things” that we also don’t know how to get rid of. These are things that are not compatible with the person we want to believe we are or would like to be. They harm our health, our relationships, or hinder our own progress, and are clearly toxic on some level.

However, because they are often socially accepted and do not attract enough attention to justify hospitalization in a mental health facility or police intervention, we end up turning a blind eye. But if we think about it, being socially or culturally accepted is not a good criterion. War is still culturally accepted in our society, as we don’t yet have enough control to stop it. Can you imagine that!? We are still unable to stop wars—whether those killing people in Ukraine, the Middle East, or the wars within ourselves. There are so many socially and culturally accepted issues we need to address. I believe the best way to approach this is with peace, forgiveness, acceptance, joy, and compassion—even if it’s challenging—rather than focusing on war, guilt, and condemnation. It’s time to leave those things in the past.

So, what I see now is that we often focus on standout cases and use them to ignore our own unresolved “things.” We pretend that there is no inner war deserving of compassionate attention and resolution. But we can do the opposite: look at prominent cases and understand how we might see these issues in ourselves and how we can improve. These situations, whether involving a patient in a hospital or a criminal, can serve as mirrors for our own introspection. I’m trying to do this as well, and fortunately, I have occasional dreams that reveal my internal struggles through symbolic language. If you don’t have such dreams to guide you, developing self-observation skills is another way to gain insight.

What I know at the moment is that we first need to focus on changing ourselves. We cannot, nor should we, try to control others or “improve others.” Improving others can be done collectively through tools like schools, education, and collective efforts to assist those in need. This is part of our positive humanity and necessary infrastructure for development. However, regarding inner struggles, I believe there is always something outside that reflects something we can improve inside ourselves.

In self-development, especially as adults, it is important to focus on understanding and transforming these “things” within us instead of pointing fingers at others. This doesn’t mean that it won’t affect others; on the contrary, I believe in the “ripple effect”—our change at a certain point, like a pebble creating waves on water, reverberates and causes change beyond that single point. When many of us evolve in the same direction, it influences even those we don’t directly contact. This phenomenon, sometimes referred to as the “hundredth monkey effect,” suggests that collective change can lead to widespread transformation.

Ultimately, these “things” within us can be transformed into something different, allowing us to embrace this “update” without fear or guilt. Forgiveness is key to this process. From personal experience, I know that trying to change through guilt can be detrimental. Forgiveness, despite the emotional turmoil during a phase of acceptance, when we can cry the pain out, is liberating and brings internal lightness over time. It’s not easy, but it’s easier than remaining trapped in a guilt loop that doesn’t resolve anything. I believe that with less resistance, this process can become easier for both me and humanity over time.

This reflection is my attempt to share with my human family navigating these challenging times that we can reframe how we see others and other problems as sources of inspiration and personal and collective growth, bringing reasons to be grateful even in adversity.