Using Your Defining Moments in Life to Build a Better Future

Posted on July 03, 2024 by Aleksandra Lazarevska, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

Our lives are made up of a growing collection of memories, experiences, and lessons. Some of these are joyous, while others can be devastating. The only thing in life that’s guaranteed is that it’s always changing. Sure, specific things might stay the same, but you’re always on a journey to self-discovery and evolving as a person.

Out of all these life experiences, some likely stand out as turning points; something we, coaches, like to refer to as defining moments.

What’s so important about these defining moments in life, and how can you use them to build a better future moving forward? It’s a concept I cover intimately with my clients for only ten minutes during the coaching session, and one I’m excited to share more with you here.

Defining a Defining Moment
Let’s first answer the basic question, “What is a defining moment?”

Part of my process as a holistic coach is using defining moments as a powerful reflection tool.

Defining moments in life happen when you either make a significant decision that alters the course of your life, or you experience something that profoundly changes you. Both scenarios can be positive or negative circumstances in your life. I like to have my clients share how they felt in those moments and what they chose to become because of them. Often, learned behaviors of high achievers or people pleasers stem back to their past defining moments of life.

Learning how to heal yourself mentally and emotionally from these defining moments, especially the more difficult ones, can help you build a better future.

What Are The Most Significant Defining Moments of Life?
Lots may have happened over the years, and you might be wondering which instances are considered true defining moments in life. These defining moments are present at any age, from childhood to teenage years and adolescence to adulthood and retirement. From bursts of pure elation to unspoken moments of trauma that stay with us, they all define who we are.

Here are some common examples of defining moments of life:

Starting or ending a relationship, getting married or divorced
Being hired or fired from a job or starting a new career field
Becoming an entrepreneur and starting your own business
Taking a big trip, traveling solo, leaving the country for the first time
Losing a loved one when they pass away or being estranged from them
Buying your first house, moving away from home, getting your own apartment
Graduating high school/college, taking on a postgraduate program
Retiring from your career and entering a new chapter of life
Having a baby or adopting a child and starting a family of your own
Experiencing a financial hardship or loss of financial security
Dealing with a serious, terminal, or ongoing illness yourself or with someone close to you
So many defining moments in life can happen; it’s how you grow from those defining moments that matter.

How To Grow as a Person from Your Defining Moments
As a holistic coach, I often help my clients identify their most impactful defining moments in life. When I’m coaching healing concepts with them, with their permission, we spend some time thinking back to the past and connecting with their inner child, teenager, and adult. It’s crucial to understand how to heal yourself mentally and emotionally from things that may be holding you back before you can truly move forward.

Start with these steps:

Take Time to Self-Assess
Whether it be a negative or positive moment, it’s time to reevaluate those moments that brought you to where you are today. Are you happy? Are you yearning for more? Self-assessment of defining moments of life can help shake up the status quo and prompt a new direction for the future.

Reevaluate Your Purpose
Are you currently at a crossroads, needing to decide which direction to take? Use your defining moments in life to find inspiration and figure out what matters most to you. Maybe you’ve realized you don’t have the same desire to follow the life path you once wanted. This may be the perfect time to find a new purpose that you better align with.

Identify Your Goals
Think about what you want to accomplish in life and what you need to feel happy and fulfilled. You might find that the goals you set for yourself previously no longer apply to what will bring you joy and spark passion. Adjust accordingly or set new ones!

Let Go of The Past
It’s hard to move forward when you’re stuck ruminating in what you could or should have done differently. The reality is you can’t change the past and what has already happened in your life. But what you can do is decide what you’ll do differently and take action on the things you can control as you look to the future.

Understanding those defining moments in life will help you grow and learn along the way.

Find a Purposeful Path with a Holistic Coach
Life can be unpredictable and scary, but it can also be beautiful, rewarding, and unbelievably exciting. And often, it’s all those things at once. Through the inevitable ups and downs, a holistic coach can help you better respond to adversity, revisit your past to improve your future, and grow beyond what you ever thought possible. By coaching healing strategies, I support you to focus on the present moment, set goals for your future, and work through any lingering healing that may be blocking your progress.

Ready to let go of the past and build a better future? Book a complimentary 1-hour discovery call, and let’s start the next chapter of your journey.