Breaking Free from Toxic Workplaces

Posted on May 21, 2024 by David Luscher, One of Thousands of Performance Coaches on Noomii.

Over my 30-year career, I’ve worked as a teacher and middle manager, leading and mentoring individuals as young as 18 and as old as 65. Throughout that time, I have tried to be empathetic towards everyone I worked with. No, I didn’t like everyone in the workplace, and not everyone liked me. But I can say that I was genuinely curious about all of them and did what I could to lift them up and help them succeed.

It broke my heart every time I interacted with those who were miserable. Throughout my career, I encountered many unhappy people, so I’m passionate about sharing strategies to help everyone avoid feeling stuck. One of the worst situations to be stuck in is a toxic workplace!

You may have seen in the news that a new report about the FDIC outlines issues that “arose within a workplace culture that is ‘misogynistic,’ ‘patriarchal,’ ‘insular,’ and ’outdated’—a ‘good ol’ boys’ club where favoritism is common, wagons are circled around managers, and senior executives with well-known reputations for pursuing romantic relations with subordinates enjoy long careers without any apparent consequence.”

If you’re experiencing this type of behavior in your workplace, you’re not alone. In a recent FlexJobs survey, 87% of respondents said they’ve worked with at least one toxic manager during their career. 57% have worked with one toxic manager, and 30% have worked with more than one. Not only are these types of managers prevalent in the workplace, but they are also not being held accountable.

As a result, employees are left with overwhelming feelings of anxiety, mental fatigue, and depression. They question their skill sets, productivity declines, and the frustration they feel is often misdirected onto friends and family. Because of financial and family commitments, one can feel that there is no way out and often lie awake at night asking, “What am I going to do?”

There is a way out, but it involves doing some inner work first. Step one is recognizing that you’re unhappy. That might seem like common sense, but when faced with this type of situation, we often rationalize to make sense of it all. Does anxiety keep you up at night? Are you feeling more depressed and disconnected than usual? Are your relationships suffering? Get honest with yourself about what you’re feeling! Second, remind yourself that you’re not alone and that there is a way out.

It’s also important to remember that action removes fear. A single, practical action can make you feel like you’re in control again. Take the first step and let momentum build from it. On a sheet of paper, physically write down what you’re no longer willing to accept. Get angry and honest about the situation. Document it so you can refer to it often. Second, get crystal clear about what you do want instead. Make it specific and measurable. Anything worth doing is worth measuring, so write out specifically what a successful workplace looks like to you. Without knowing this, how will you know what to strive for? Define clearly what you want.

Most people don’t do this type of inner work. It’s easy for them to spend time looking at job postings and bad-mouthing the company with other sympathetic coworkers. They may take action by applying for another role with a different company but wind up being just as miserable as before. Do the inner work and get clear on not only what you want but also what you deserve. Remember, what you’re feeling is normal and healthy, and I want to see you escape from an environment that can cause you so much damage. There are solutions to this problem.

I encourage you to do this right now! Don’t wait, as everyday life is going to get in the way quickly, and you’ll get caught up. Seize the moment and take control of your life. Set aside 20 minutes and do this now. You’ll feel so much better about your future and yourself. I think you’ll be surprised how naturally this will all flow from you.

You deserve better than a toxic work environment, and unfortunately, they’re all too common. Staying in this environment can cause long-lasting damage to your mental and physical health and cause pain for your family and friends. It hurts them to see you so unhappy. You can take back control!

If you find yourself in this situation, email me at david@luschersuccesscoaching.com. As a performance and career coach, I help people plan their next steps. You can set the game up to win, and I’d love to help you do just that.