What’s Holding You Back from Finding Love?

Posted on April 22, 2024 by Julie Homsy , One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.

To often I hear “What’s wrong with the single men today?!” or “Women are crazy. I can’t find the right one.” I am sure when I am talking with that single guy or gal and they make those statement, they must think there is something wrong with me because I am sure I have this blank look on my face.

If you are looking for love also, and you have thought or said those statements to yourself or someone else, maybe it’s time to take a look at yourself.

I really hate to say it, but finding your significant other is a game. More like a numbers game…the more women or men you meet, the more likely you will find the one for you. So, how do you up the odds in the dating game?

Step 1: Take a look at yourself.

Look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Am I someone that is attractive to other people?”

When asking that question go beyond what you see in the mirror, even though that is important also. But first, let’s look at what you have to offer inside of you. When you look at your list of “must haves”, personality is usually in the top five. So ask yourself, “do I have the same qualities that I am looking for in a mate? Opposites do attract, but not if you’re polar opposites. Someone who is a bit reserve is not going to be attractive to someone who screams at the umpire through the television on a regular basis. If you are looking for someone who is caring and giving, be sure that you are also that caring and giving person.

Do you love yourself? Not to the point of being narcissistic. But are you happy with you. We all have room for improvement, but if you love who you are on the inside…you will be more attractive to others.

Now for what is on the outside. Looks do matter. So when showing up for a 1st date, how do you look? Do you look like you just woke up or just finished working out? Ladies, men really do want to see you wear a dress or skirt when you meet for the 1st time. Unless, he is taking you out bowling for a 1st date. You don’t have to wear designer clothes to look good, but you do have to look put together. And clean.

Step 2: Look at your list of “don’t want”.

I have a single family member that doesn’t want to date anyone who likes sports, goes to sporting events, etc… Why not? Just because you are not into sports doesn’t mean your mate can’t. You don’t have to go to every sporting event with them or watch every football game with them on Sundays and Thursdays. You can turn that time into a boys night out or girls night. What, you don’t like to go shopping?! Just like sports, you don’t have to go every time your gal wants to go to the mall, but once in awhile it could be fun.

Step 3: Limited by Distance

Only want to find someone within 5 miles of where you live? That’s a lot of doors that will be closed, especially if you live in a small town. When I was dating, I once had a gentleman in another state tell me that distance didn’t matter to him when meeting women because one never knows where you will meet you true love. Be willing to expand that radius if you are meeting anyone close to home.

Traveling? Talk to people on the plane or in the plaza or restaurant. You never know where you will meet the one.

If you would like to learn about other ways that you could be holding yourself back from finding “the one”, Relationship Coaches or Dating Coaches can help you figure it out.