Hardwired to Compare Yourself With Others?

Posted on April 07, 2024 by Nadine Faddul, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.

In the midst of a tough rockstar contest designed for entrepreneurs, I found myself in an unexpected position: lagging behind, swamped with work, and constantly comparing myself to my peers. It was a challenge that, frankly, had me questioning my ability to keep up. But then, something clicked.

I realized the immense pressure I was putting on myself wasn’t just from the workload or the competition’s pace—it was the weight of constant comparison. In that moment, I decided to pivot. Not in my strategy or my workload, but in my mindset. I shifted my focus inward, concentrating on personal progress and the unique value I brought to the table, rather than how I stacked against others.

This change was transformative. Freed from the shackles of comparison, I redirected my energy into what truly mattered—my passion and my project. This not only reinvigorated my commitment but also clarified my vision. And as my perspective changed, so did my results. I began to catch up, not by worrying about where others were, but by focusing on where I could go.

Reflecting on this journey, I’ve realized how pervasive the habit of comparing ourselves to others can be. Do you find yourself often measuring your success against others? Does the success of others ever leave you feeling inadequate or unsure of your path? If so, you’re not alone. It’s a common struggle many of us face without knowing how to break free. Because we are hardwired to compare ourselves to others. For instance, if you are content with earning a salary of $10,000, that satisfaction might quickly dissipate the moment you discover someone with similar credentials in your neighborhood earns more. This is known as status threats, and it’s precisely why we need to approach comparisons with a smarter perspective.

In my work with clients, what they truly value is not just the strategies and insights I bring, but my ability to understand their fears and the things that sabotage their progress. Together, we embark on a rewarding journey to confront and conquer those very saboteurs, transforming apprehension into action, and doubt into confidence.

When the final day of the contest arrived, not only did I finish but I also emerged victorious. This experience taught me a profound lesson: true success comes from understanding and staying true to one’s own goals and values, not from outdoing someone else. It is a lesson I carry into my professional work, helping my clients to see the same light.

This journey has reinforced a valuable lesson in my life and through my work: success is most fulfilling when it’s defined on your own terms. Let’s all remember that our biggest competitor is often our own potential. Here’s to focusing on our own races, celebrating every milestone, big or small, and learning to appreciate our unique journey without comparison.

“Do you feel like you’re always comparing yourself to others? Want to find your own way to succeed? Let’s talk more about it. Leave your email in the comments or send me a message, and let’s start this journey together.”