Your 3rd - and BEST - Act
Posted on April 05, 2024 by ARICIA SHAFFER, MSE, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
Our 50's and 60's are a time of transition. We may be empty nesters or considering retirement. But what's next? I share some tricks of the trade.
We certainly go through seasons of life – as children we’re often asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?” In our 20’s, we may be asked when we plan to marry or have children. In our 30’s, we often ask ourselves, “Why don’t I have my act together yet?”
It’s often not until our 2nd act that we start to get our legs under us. That’s in our 40’s. We don’t have it ALL figured out, but at least we know what path we’re on and feel like we MIGHT figure it out one day.
But it’s in our 3rd act that things start to come together. And to be honest, most people still don’t have their “act” together. It’s just that when you hit this stage, you realize that it’s not about having it together. It’s about something else. Something you haven’t quite sorted out yet.
And that’s where a coach can help. You may know WHAT you want to do, but you’re not sure how to get there – which is frustrating. You may have dreams you’re ready to get back to now that you have time, but they don’t quite fit any longer. That can be disappointing. Or you may have too many ideas to sort through leaving you feeling stuck.
You may be retired – or thinking about retiring. Maybe you want to make a big move or travel. Or perhaps it’s time to write that book or go part time at work – but in a different field.
Whether you know the direction you want to go or not, here’s how I help my 3rd act clients:
First, remove the limits. An exercise common to coaches is to ask clients to imagine what they’d do with their life if there were no restrictions. Why do we do this? Because by doing this exercise, you often learn that you’ve put a whole lot of living off because you thought it was unrealistic. More things are within your reach that you can imagine. I help clients see the possibilities.
Second, track your day and how you feel. This is a tool often used in therapy, but we can all benefit from utilizing it. Often people coming to coaching feel dissatisfied with parts of their life. They want to feel happier, more fulfilled, successful in some way. This exercise gives you huge clues and allows you to learn to invest your time intentionally rather than letting it slip through your hands.
A coaching secret I’ll share with you is that we say coaching isn’t so much about feelings. I disagree. I find that it’s all about identifying how you want to feel, making sure you’re solving the right problem, and then creating a path together to get you there. The woman who sets a goal to write a book wants to be heard. The man who wants to climb a mountain wants to feel strong. But those goals may or may not generate that feeling. We need to be sure we’re on the right track before you invest a ton of time, energy, and money in something that doesn’t get you where you want to be.
Finally, I take a portfolio approach when I work with people in their 3rd act. You’re at a buffet moment in life. You’re unlikely to know what you like until you give it a go. I help clients create a plan and find the resources and connections to try different things, assess those experiences and decide on a direction. We call this a curiosity crawl. And yes, it’s a lot of fun.
Feel free to take these ideas and work with them. If you’d like to discuss your situation further, reach out. I’d love to learn how I can help.
