Is stress your friend or your foe?
Posted on March 14, 2024 by Tiziana Pintus, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.
How to leverage the healthy energy of stress to your advantage and reach better results.
I love scuba diving. I’ve been diving for over 20 years! And still, when I book my first dive of the year, the same uneasy, anxious feeling creeps over me. Why, I ask myself each time? Well, I then conclude, breathing under water, even if you have the right gears, is unnatural, so I guess my brain is only trying to protect me and warn me against possible danger. (#welldonebrain!)
I’ve learned to accept and embrace that feeling: I know that when I’m under water I’m totally going to love it! So, as soon as I start feeling yukky, I think: great! I’m going to be diving again and I cannot wait!
Is that uneasy feeling different from the one I get before having to present? You’ve guessed right: nope!
It does not matter how many times you have done it: stress still creeps in…even if in fact nothing life threatening could happen in a presentation or a meeting. The brain cannot comprehend that difference and will have the same reaction: fight, flight or freeze.
Stress is part of performing
Performing, in whichever form, is stressful, at the best of times, in any field. But that extra adrenaline is also very useful…without that anticipation and excitement, you cannot count on a magical delivery…you know, the one in which everything seems to work by itself with extreme ease; the one in which you can do just about anything and exactly as you want it; the one that will stick in your memory for ever, either as speaker or as audience.
And, as it turns out, stress is not even bad for you. Research suggests stress may only be bad for you if you believe that to be the case. Psychologist Kelly McGonigal urges us to see stress as a positive, and introduces us to an unsung mechanism for stress reduction: reaching out to others. (1)
In fact, stress is then not the problem. Our response to stress is.
That is why it is not useful to ignore it or to push it away. You need that anticipation, firstly because you need it to be able to peak, but also because trying to ignore it or push it away will cause more stress, and it will bite you back like an angry monkey jumping out of its box when you least expect it.
(Thanks to Dr Steve Peters for the effective imagery :-) – he coached Ronnie O’Sullivan, my snooker hero) (2)
As Dr Peters says, the trick is to learn how to manage stress (or the monkey, to stay with his analogy) making sure it does not cripple you but it actually becomes an asset.
What do you need to do then?
Learn how to manage your stress and do all you can to restore and help maintain your physical, mental and emotional balance.
1. Include
Include practising your executive presence in the delivery, not just the words/task, but they way in which you deliver them (are you grounded, open, confident?… how is your voice?… are you 100% behind what you are saying? … is your mind wondering on things that have nothing to do with what you are doing?).
2. Exercise
Yes I know…but… ‘mens sana in corpore sano’.
Find something you absolutely love doing, and it will be easier. I practice Aikido (and scuba diving), for instance :-) Find a good Alexander Technique Teacher. You will learn to move and stand in a more relaxed, comfortable way, use your body efficiently and effortlessly and being present to what you are doing (aka #awareness – the first important step to bring about changes)
3. Mindfulness
Consider practicing focused attention. If the mind is busy with a specific tasks you give it, it cannot wonder and start worrying.
“We often spend so much time focusing on simply ‘learning the drills’ that we forget that there are other extremely important aspects to performing optimally. The afternoon I spent with Tiziana was a chance for me to take a little time out to remind myself that I am not just a professional, but a PERSON and to function at my peak, I need to give attention to my physical state and emotional state too."
Be fitter physically, emotionally and mentally, and you will dive into your next performance happily!
quoted:
1. Kelly McGonigal: How to make stress your friend
2. Steve Peters, Author of the Chimp Paradox, Reveals How To Be Less Anxious
