Coach with “Why”

Posted on January 19, 2024 by c.j. Ng, One of Thousands of Business Coaches on Noomii.

In pursuing personal and professional growth, individuals often seek the guidance of coaches. While the primary motive may be to address specific problems or challenges, the true essence of coaching lies in empowering individuals to discover their solutions and cultivate their inherent potential.

Sir John Whitmore, co-creator of the GROW model, aptly encapsulates this philosophy: “Coaching is not about solving problems for people, but about helping them discover their own solutions and develop their own skills.” This paradigm shift underscores the transformative power of coaching, moving beyond mere problem-solving to fostering self-discovery and sustainable growth.

The question arises: if individuals can solve their problems, why engage a coach? The answer lies in the coach’s ability to act as a catalyst for unlocking potential, providing the support and guidance necessary to navigate the complexities of personal and professional endeavors.

Unveiling the Blind Spots
Often, individuals lack awareness of their limitations or have inaccurate perceptions of their challenges. A coach can be an impartial observer, helping individuals clarify and define their problems and identifying the root causes and consequences hindering progress.

Crafting a Clear Vision
Without a clear vision of desired outcomes, individuals may set unrealistic or conflicting expectations, leading to frustration and derailment. A coach can guide individuals in establishing SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound), ensuring alignment with personal values and overarching purpose.

Expanding the Horizon of Possibilities
Limited perspectives can restrict an individual’s ability to explore and generate innovative solutions. A coach can broaden the coachee’s horizon, encouraging them to consider a wider range of options, evaluating and selecting the most promising ones.

Transforming Plans into Action
Even with a well-defined plan, execution can be fraught with challenges. A coach can assist in designing and implementing a realistic and flexible plan, providing support to overcome obstacles and navigate setbacks.

Fueling Motivation and Confidence
Motivation and confidence are the cornerstones of sustained progress. A coach can help individuals cultivate unwavering motivation, challenge limiting beliefs, and develop empowering thought patterns.

Coaching the “Why”
Coaching, therefore, transcends mere problem-solving, delving into the deeper realms of self-discovery and potential realization. It’s about understanding the “why” behind the “what” and “how,” enabling individuals to unlock their true potential and achieve remarkable results.


Why Coach with “Why”

To coach with “Why” is to help coachees discover the deeper motives behind their desires. It is to elicit their core values, passions, and vision. It is to align their actions with their essence.

Coaching with “Why” matters because it unleashes the most potent force of motivation and inspiration: intrinsic motivation. This drive comes from within, from doing something that matters and satisfies oneself. The drive propels people to chase their dreams, unleash their creativity, and make an impact in the world.

By coaching with “Why”, coaches enable coacheesto tap into their intrinsic motivation. They guide them to find their solutions rather than prescribing them. They empower them to create their answers rather than imposing them. They help them own their process rather than rely on them.

Asking “why” isn’t about interrogating or criticizing individuals; it’s an invitation to delve into their own experiences, learn from them, and foster growth. It’s about creating a nurturing environment where they feel safe to express their thoughts and feelings.

Asking “why” isn’t about finding the definitive answer or the perfect solution; it’s about igniting curiosity, stimulating learning, and encouraging personal development. It’s about opening doors to new possibilities, perspectives, and options. It’s about empowering individuals to experiment, reflect, and adapt.

Through the power of inquiry, coaches challenge the individuals’ beliefs, assumptions, biases, and ingrained habits. This process of addressing beliefs is crucial because beliefs shape how individuals perceive the world, their goals, their ability to achieve them, and their motivation to persevere.

Coachees have a belief in the situation they are in. Their belief shapes their reality and limits their possibilities. They can only look for solutions within the confines of their beliefs. That’s why the coach needs to discover their beliefs, take them to the core of their consciousness, and help them break free.

Some beliefs are inspiring and empowering, while others are depressing and restricting. For example, a coachee who has a belief of growth and learning may be more open to feedback, eager for opportunities, and resilient to challenges. On the other hand, a coachee who has a belief of stagnation and failure may be more closed to feedback, fearful of change, and prone to quitting.

Hence, coaches need to tackle the beliefs of the coachee in order to help them find solutions by:

Help the coachee uncover and express their beliefs and examine how they influence their thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Challenging the coachee to doubt and verify their beliefs and to consider different viewpoints and evidence.
Supporting the coachee in embracing and strengthening beliefs that align with their goals and values and enable them to achieve their desired outcomes..

However, asking “Why?” is not always simple or suitable. Sometimes, it can be seen as intrusive, blaming, or menacing. Sometimes, it can spark defensiveness, resistance, or anxiety or lead to circular or shallow answers. Therefore, a coach needs to use “Why?” with caution and skill.

How to Coach with “Why”

In coaching, the simple question “Why?” holds immense power to unlock profound insights and drive transformative change. However, wielding this powerful tool effectively requires a delicate balance of strategy, empathy, clarity, and timing.

Strategy: Use “Why?” Sparingly and Strategically
Avoid the temptation to bombard the coachee with a barrage of “Why?” questions. Instead, employ this tool precisely, reserving it for moments when it can illuminate the underlying motivations and beliefs shaping the coachee’s actions.

Empathy: Approach with Curiosity and Respect
Frame the “Why?” question as an interrogation and an invitation to explore. Demonstrate a genuine interest in the coachee’s perspective, acknowledging their experiences and emotions with compassion and sensitivity. Approach the conversation with an open mind, ready to learn from the coachee’s insights..

Clarity: Foster Clarity and Specificity
Ensure your “Why?” questions are clear and focused, targeting specific aspects of the coachee’s thoughts or behaviors. Avoid vague or ambiguous inquiries that could lead to confusion or misinterpretation..

Timing: Consider Context and Readiness
Context is crucial when employing the “Why?” question. Consider the stage of the coaching process, the coachee’s comfort level, and the overall relationship you share. Respect the coachee’s readiness and willingness to engage in deeper exploration.

Navigating Resistance and Discomfort
Asking “Why?” can sometimes trigger resistance or discomfort in coachees. They may lack a clear answer, feel vulnerable sharing personal insights, or need more time to process the question. In such instances, patience and persistence are key. Gently rephrase the question, provide context, and offer reassurance.

Unveiling the Core
Unveiling the core issue often requires multiple “Why?” questions, each building upon the previous one. This process resembles peeling back the layers of an onion, gradually revealing the deeper truths that lie beneath.

Embrace the Power of “Why?”
When wielded with care and consideration, the “Why?” question becomes a powerful tool for coaches to guide coachees toward self-discovery, personal growth, and transformative change.

To unleash the transformative power of “why,” coaches must skillfully guide their coachees through a journey of self-discovery and action:

Begin with “why.” This process begins by exploring the underlying motivations driving their aspirations. By asking probing questions, coaches help coachees uncover their deepest desires and the reasons behind their goals.
Delve deeper into “why”. Refrain from accepting vague or superficial answers. Coaches should delve deeper to uncover the reasons behind their coachees’ goals. Ask questions encouraging deeper thinking and reflection, such as “Why is this important to you?” or “How does this make you feel?” By exploring these deeper motivations, coaches help coachees understand their assumptions and beliefs, revealing their hidden strengths and potential challenges.
Validate and affirm the “why”. Avoid judging or criticizing the coachees’ goals. Instead, focus on validating and affirming their motivations. Show them that you understand and respect their reasons for pursuing their aspirations. Provide positive feedback and encouragement to highlight the importance of their goals. Creating a supportive and empathetic environment empowers coachees to embrace their dreams and pursue them confidently and with unwavering commitment.
Link “why” to “what” and “how”. Successful coaches don’t leave their coachees stranded in the "why "Realm. Instead, they bridge the gap between dreams and reality by guiding coachees to translate their aspirations into tangible action plans. Through a collaborative process of planning and execution, coaches help coachees transform their intangible desires into concrete steps, empowering them to take control of their destinies. The power of “why” is not merely a spark of inspiration but a sustained flame fueled by the synergy of intention and action..

To embark on a coaching journey armed with the power of ‘why,’ consider these probing questions:

What does success look like?
How is this goal or vision important to you?
What makes you care deeply about this?
What happens when the problem is solved? What do you see and feel?
What’s stopping you from achieving this goal or vision?
What precisely do you need to get out of this conversation with me today?
What actions can you take today to move you closer to your goal or vision?
On a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is the highest, what is your confidence that this plan will succeed?
What support would you need in taking these actions?
Etc.

How Coaching with “Why” Benefits the Coach, too!

Coaching with “why” is not just about guiding your coachees to success; it’s about embarking on a transformative path that elevates both your coachees and yourself. It’s about harnessing the power of purpose, values, and motivations to unlock your true potential as a coach.

Unleash Your Inner Powerhouse. When you coach with “why,” you tap into a reservoir of inner strength and resilience that drives you forward. You develop a clearer understanding of your purpose, values, and motivations, becoming a beacon of inspiration for your coachees.

Elevate Your Engagement. Coaching with “why” transforms your role from a facilitator to a passionate advocate for your coachees’ success. You become an integral part of their journey, fostering an environment of mutual trust and support.

Ignite Intrinsic Motivation. As you guide your coachees to achieve their aspirations, you ignite a spark within yourself, fueling your intrinsic motivation. You embody the transformative power of coaching, inspiring yourself with the same passion you unleash in others.

Shape a Meaningful Coaching Relationship. Coaching with “why” elevates your coaching relationship from a transactional exchange to a profound connection. You become a trusted guide, helping your coachees discover their true selves and unlock their boundless potential.

Embark on a Path of Continuous Growth. As you coach with “why,” you become a lifelong learner, constantly seeking new insights and refining your skills. You embrace challenges as opportunities for growth, expanding your capacity to inspire and empower others.

Coach with “why,” and watch your brilliance shine through!