Can Business And Love Get Along?
Posted on December 16, 2023 by Alessandro Carli, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.
There are misconceptions about love associated with work, and this creates problems with the effectiveness of creating a thriving business.
Until not too long ago, associating work with love would have been considered a sacrilege, outright heretical. Work was seen as the antithesis of love, the battlefield where no prisoners were made. “Mors tua, vita mea” (Your death is my life, the gladiators used to utter in the arena) was the motto of many entrepreneurs who adopted this philosophy for their ruthless corporate strategies.
Today, the concept of love in a corporate environment is no longer so scandalous, even though it is still handled with extreme care. Better yet if the word is not pronounced at all.
But where does this hostility towards such an important aspect in the lives of each one of us come from?
The reason why it’s so hard to put “business” and “love” together is that it’s not very clear what these two terms really mean.
As you probably know, “Business” is a compound word that consists of an adjective, “busy”, and “ness” which turns the adjective into a noun. Therefore, business is what “keeps you busy”… namely, which keeps your mind busy.
The distortion consists in the fact that this “thing” that’s keeping us busy is only associated with our work, when in fact it involves all areas of our lives. If I’m totally immersed in my work, and as a result of this I start developing health (stress) problems, or my marriage is at risk, or my relationship with my children gets complicated, sooner or later, as a result of this, these areas will “magically” become my true business instead of my work!
On the other hand, when we talk about love, we associate it with a feeling, but this is just the consequence, not the thing itself, and this is where the confusion arises. Although there’s obviously nothing wrong with the actual feeling of love, it is the expression of this feeling that leaves hard-core business people somewhat perplexed, as they tend to mistake it for corny and perhaps stupidly tolerant behavior.
Love is a mental state. We love whatever we label as a priority in our minds, and it works both ways. When we fall in love, for example, all we can think about is the object of our love. At the same time, the more we focus on something (or someone), the more this is going to generate a feeling that we call “love”.
Even the Gospel of Luke describes the love “game” this way, i.e. when Jesus, in one of his apparently strongest and fiercest utterances, says “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” He’s not actually implying that we should give up feeling love for the people or things that are dearest to us; but that we must decide who or what we are going to give priority to, because “love” is about what we are putting first place in our mind, as that is where all our focus is going (we can’t focus on two things simultaneously). Whatever is second or less, we “hate”.
Therefore, if business is what keeps our minds busy most of the time, it’s impossible not to associate it with love. Maintaining that business has nothing to do with love is a logical and practical absurdity.
When you wake up in the morning, and all you can think of is how you can get your business to thrive, isn’t that love for your business?
When you try to find every way possible to sincerely satisfy your client’s needs, isn’t that love for your client?
When you commit to making your business solid and prosperous so that your stakeholders feel secure, isn’t this love?
You don’t actually have to feel the emotion of love for these things or people, not the same way you would feel it for your loved ones, but the passion, the care, the concern, the dedication that you nurture to positively contribute, are all feelings somehow associated to love, and you must realize this, because only when you do become aware of it can you understand why you do what you’re doing, and this is paramount for the development of your potential.
Just make sure that love doesn’t turn into an obsession, i.e. that there’s nothing else that you can focus on but one thing. If that happens, it’s no longer a choice, and love needs to be free.
No matter how much you love your work, remember that this is not your one and only business. When you go back home, your family, your health, your leisure, your growth, your God… become your business. Focus and love each and every one of them, one at a time, and don’t think of anything else: this is what living a fulfilling life is about.
