Taking The "Win-Win" Philosophy To The Next Level
Posted on December 15, 2023 by Alessandro Carli, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.
This philosophy effectively inspired many leaders for the past 2-3 decades, but its true meaning should perhaps be rediscussed today.
A simple formula like “I win/you win” subverted the way of doing business, about 30-40 years ago.
Until then, business was pretty much like a battlefield (and to a lot of extent, it still is today) where the stronger party in a relationship would exert his power and will over the weaker one, following an “I win/you lose” type of philosophy.
This yielded indisputable (albeit short-term) results, especially in business; but in a growingly complex reality like the one that started to develop as of three or four decades ago, this massively competitive and mechanistic culture generated an unprecedented sequence of crises and conflicts.
Some action had to be taken, but even more than that, a dramatic paradigm shift became much needed.
Although the term “systems” was still somewhat obscure, people actually started to think more systemically, which called for a collaborative approach to replace the old competitive one.
We have become more and more aware of the fact that if we treat others fairly, if we allow them to have their share of the pie instead of beating the hell out of them to have it all, things would run much more smoothly for everyone.
And so it was.
“I win-you win” was officially promoted and adopted as the ultimate managerial mantra, and it was a true paradigm shift indeed!
Many conflicts and crises simply vanished or were promptly solved by simply communicating more honestly and empathetically, by empowering and inspiring people, by giving them more significance, and much more.
Yet, hard-core conflicts have resisted, and in time, this once innovative megalithic philosophy started to show its weak spots and crevices. Today, something isn’t working as it should or has worked until a recent past… not as powerfully, anyway.
The reason for this is that, unsuspectedly, this philosophy carried a malicious bug within which started to manifest in time, and it’s all in the way it was formulated.
Check it out: What does it say?
“I win, you win” – I win first, and if there’s anything left for you, good!
This sounds bad and outright selfish, and in perfect good faith, people don’t even faintly suspect that they’re actually thinking this way… but they do.
I’ve seen this time and time around. When things get tough, when new crises set in, and new challenges appear, the old “me-first” philosophy kicks the sugary “I win, you win” out the window at the blink of an eye.
It’s a conditioned reflex that’s extremely difficult to oppose. When a situation perceived as potentially risky or dangerous appears, people will want to have control, and will direct their focus on saving their butt. “I win”: Period!
That’s why, as of the last world economic crisis, the “I win, you win” philosophy suffered a serious setback. People have to focus on what’s better for them. They don’t want other people to lose, but it’s basically their problem whatever happens to them.
So, is this the end of “I win/you win”?
Not quite. But it does require some “restyling”… say, an upgrade. Not a big deal, actually… just a minor tweak:
“You win, I win”Right, “You come first, and then I’ll eventually win”. It’s still win-win, but diametrically opposite.
It doesn’t sound one tiny bit attractive, does it?
That’s because our thinking is still basically mechanistic. We have no awareness of the fact that we have no control over systems, i.e. whatever’s out there, let alone trust them.
Nonetheless, it is precisely when things get tough that we MUST unwaveringly stick to the “Win/Win” philosophy… “You win, I win” but.
When you think and act systemically, systems will start working for you. Today, and even more so tomorrow, leaders – business or otherwise – must develop the awareness that the only control they have is in focusing their efforts on making sure others win first.
In turn, those “others” will make sure you’ll win. This is all the control you have to get what’s important for you.
Do you want a real challenge?
Well, you have it.
