How to Become More Comfortable with Uncertainty
Posted on November 13, 2023 by Dianna Collier, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Uncertainty has the potential to breed distress, but it is also connected to possibilities and dreams. We can become more comfortable with uncertainty
Have you ever found yourself stuck in self-doubt and worry when confronted with an uncertain future? Maybe it feels like you are navigating through a foggy maze, where every step forward is accompanied by a lingering sense of apprehension and unease.
Uncertainty has been a constant companion in my home this year. It hangs out with my younger daughter as she completes college applications and tries to plan for life after high school. What schools will she get into? Does she really want to major in chemistry? It lingers in the background as my husband and I try to imagine life as empty nesters. How often will we see our younger daughter? What will our evenings look like without children around? Uncertainty has the potential to breed distress, but it is also connected to possibilities and dreams.
My clients often encounter uncertainty as they make changes, navigate transitions and strive towards their goals. The possibility of these life changes always brings uncertainty. It is an inevitable part of life, but it does not have to cause us pain. We can become more comfortable with uncertainty.
Here are my 6 tips for becoming more comfortable with uncertainty:
1. Practice mindfulness
Certainty is available in the present moment. When you feel overwhelmed by future possibilities, take time to focus on the current moment by noticing your breath & your senses. Experience the ease of this moment when no decisions need to be made.
2. Reframe uncertainty
As Nathan Furr and Susannah Harmon Furr state in The Upside of Uncertainty, “humans need surprise, spontaneity and change-those things are inherently uncertain.” Deliberately reframing uncertainty as possibility, moves us away from fear and towards hope.
For example, my daughter might not know what college she will attend yet, but she will have the opportunity to explore her interests in a novel learning environment.
3. Focus on your values & character strengths
Become aware of your core values and character strengths by taking the VIA (Values in Action) survey. These strengths provide a solid foundation and can be activated deliberately to cope with difficulties.
One of my clients that was looking for a career change made a list of the qualities that he wanted in a job. These qualities were tied to his values and character strengths. The list allowed him to easily evaluate job opportunities and come from a “position of power.” He also leaned into his strengths of creativity, humor and love while looking for the ideal position.
4. Loosen up expectations
Things will go wrong, and that is okay. Research shows that we adapt to disappointments faster and better than we expect. Give yourself permission to change your plan as you gain new information and experiences.
One of my clients has pivoted several times while creating an online course. Since this is her first time working on a project of this type, she frequently needs to adjust her schedule and deadlines to fit the reality of the work. She runs experiments to determine what works best and then uses that information to plan next steps.
5. Release embodied stress
Notice tension in your body, lean back, breathe into tight spots and release the tension. Make time for the activities that help you regularly release physical tension such as walking, running, dancing, or yoga.
6. Connect with others
Uncertainty is part of the human experience. Connect with others that understand your situation and talk openly about the fears associated with uncertainty. Surround yourself with people that you can learn from and that build your optimism.
As the facilitator of Positive Psychology Coaching Fundamentals at WholeBeing Institute, I meet many students that are building new coaching practices and facing the uncertainty involved in a career change. One of my roles as a facilitator is to encourage community building. The students frequently report that the relationships formed in this community provide inspiration and support for them while they are figuring out their next steps.
We cannot get rid of uncertainty, but we can reduce the discomfort that it brings and embrace the possibilities.
If you would like help becoming more comfortable with uncertainty, send me an email at dianna@collierclan.net to request a free consultation.
