What is the Adult Child of an Alcoholic Syndrome?

Posted on October 16, 2023 by Dr. Sofya Vasilyeva, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.

The History and New Findings

Approximately 26.8 million children of alcoholics reside in the United States (Alcohol and Drug Programs, 2007). Ideas that were widespread about adult children of alcoholics (ACOA) mostly came from the self-published books by Janet Woititz. In her 1983 book, the Adult Children of Alcoholics, Woititz outlined thirteen characteristics that adult children of alcoholics based on her observations and clinical experiences. These characteristics became the operating foundation for such self-help groups as Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA) to help their participants relieve themselves of the consequences of their childhood trauma (Seefeldt & Lyon, 1992). The thirteen traits that she had outlined are:

Guess at what normal is.
Have difficulty in following a project through from beginning to end.
Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
Judge themselves without mercy.
Have difficulty having fun.
Take themselves very seriously.
Have difficulty with intimate relationships.
Overreact to changes over which they have no control.
Constantly seek approval and affirmation.
Feel that they are different from other people.
Are either super responsible or super irresponsible.
Are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that loyalty is undeserved.
Tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsivity leads to confusion, self loathing, and loss of control of their environment. As a result, they spend tremendous amounts of time cleaning up the mess.
Since 1983 empirical studies have debunked the idea that most characteristics identified by Woititz apply only to adult children of alcoholics compared to people who have grown up in homes where alcohol was not a problem. The probable reason for findings that children of alcoholics do not deviate significantly from those who did not grow up in homes where alcoholism was present as outlined by Woititz (1983) is that these findings can apply to a wide range of people that may have suffered other childhood traumas where alcohol was not involved. Based on empirical studies, however, some characteristics unique to these individuals have been identified.

However, subsequent studies have pointed to the developmental characteristics of those who grew up in the home of alcoholics and how those characteristics deviate from people who grew up in homes where alcohol was not present. The most prevalent findings are that ACOAs tend to have an insecure attachment style. The insecure attachment style is significant because it plays a role in emotional regulation. People with insecure attachment style have difficulty processing emotions and thus rely on maladaptive defenses to help regulate their state of being. Those defenses are responsible for relational problems, difficulty with career, and generally deters from maximal well being. Insecure attachment styles are also directly accountable for the way individuals form relationships with other people.

If you recognize these traits within yourself, there is help. Get involved in family-focused interventions, support groups, and/or personal therapy. The primary support groups are Al-Anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics, both of which are 12-step programs. You can try this online workshop for adult children of alcoholics or check out one on one coaching with me!

Wishing you a healing journey,

Sofya Vass (Vasilyeva)