The Top 5 Myths about YOU that You Believe

Posted on September 06, 2023 by Freda Smith, One of Thousands of Christian Coaches on Noomii.

1. If I am skinny, THEN I will be happy….

This is a myth that A LOT of people in today’s shallow world believe. We are stuck in a comparison trap, and we are continuously comparing ourselves to photoshopped models. We look at ourselves in the mirror thinking “if only I was a few pounds lighter/if only my skin was a bit tighter/ if only I had fewer stretch marks, THEN I would be super happy”…

Don’t get me wrong, our bodies are our temples, and we should look after them, but we forget that skinny is not equal to being healthy. Health is also not just measured by how much you weigh but also by how healthy you are physically and mentally. Some of the most miserable people are skinny people who have attached their own worth by being “skinny”. They have a shallow existence with external validation (I am not saying this about ALL skinny people, only those who validate their worth by how they look and by how they are perceived by others.)

Through the years of yo-yo dieting, I have been classified as lean and toned as well as obese, and I can tell you, the happiness of being lean and toned, fades. There is this expectation that the world will somehow be better, different, and just “magical” when we lose weight, but the truth is, the problem doesn’t lie with your weight – there is a much deeper root cause for why you feel unworthy when you are “fat” and worthy when you are “skinny”.

2. When I make more money, I will feel content….

This is another rat race that most to all people find themselves in. “Richer is better, because then I get more respect, I can buy better houses and cars and live the life I’ve always dreamt of”.

Again, we SHOULD save, we SHOULD have dreams, but here I am referring to those who will never be happy with “enough”, in fact, they don’t know what “enough” means. We are being brainwashed to believe that you should never be content with what you have, you should always chase for bigger and better, so we wind up feeling like our happiness is always at the next step, and then the next step will always be one step behind. We chase more and more because we are being told that to “settle” is a bad thing. Settle no longer means being content with what you have, but it becomes “no longer fighting for what you could have”. We see divorce rates skyrocketing because no one wants to “settle” anymore, and every single relationship only lasts as long as you find it comfortable to stick around – once things get tough, you go for “better” because who settles, am I right?

This world is chasing after MORE money, MORE fame, MORE glitz and glam, but truly think for a second about anything “new” that you bought/achieved recently. How long did the joy last, before you got bored and started chasing the next best thing? Just like with money, we try and find contentment outside of ourselves, but we soon discover that it is short lived.

3. Habits control me, I have no control.

Here we find a broad term of what can be labeled as good habits or destructive habits.

Good habits are those things you do over time, that actually help you grow like eating healthy, having a good bedtime schedule, spending time with God in prayer/worship and reading the Word of God, being physically active etc. But then we get those destructive habits: watching tv too late so you wind up sleeping in the next day and forget to spend time with the Lord because now you need to rush off to work and you haven’t even had time to brush your teeth yet.

Now most of us should know that the mind makes neurological pathways and after 40 days of doing the same thing over and over again, everything be it good or bad, will become a habit. We know from the second part of 2 Peter 2:19 when it says, “For you are a slave to whatever controls you”, that these habits do feel like they control us. We do, however, forget how fantastically the human mind works and how ANYTHING, with repetition, can become a new habit over time.

ANYTHING can be taught to the mind. We forget why this habit started in the first place, what purpose it served, and each time we take part in this destructive habit, we ease into the old neurological pathway as this comfort zone is just much nicer than to change it altogether. We forget though, that we do have control, and we CAN in fact change this.

4. It is okay to hold a grudge.

We are ALL guilty of this one. We decide to not forgive those who have wronged us, and we instantly put up a wall of self-protection.

We lose sleep over how badly the other person/people have wronged us, we avoid them like the plague, we try and completely erase them from our lives whilst still being so angry at them. Our hearts get darker and darker with rage/fury/anger/resentment, and we fantasize about getting back at these people. “How dare they?” “Who does such a terrible thing?” … we get sucked deeper and deeper into this wormhole of resentment, and we forget that we are now EXACTLY where the Enemy wants us.

We are firstly so distracted by our own hurts and pains that we no longer spend time with God, not coming to Him with a warm loving heart. We are also riddled with unforgiveness which indirectly tells God that we don’t think what happened was fair and we don’t believe He will do anything about the situation. We hold onto this negative evil energy that drains us from the inside….

You see holding onto a grudge is like trying to hold onto a piping hot coal, hoping it won’t burn the flesh off your hands. When we truly forgive someone, regardless of how painful the experience is, we set ourselves free. We drop that coal and instead of sitting with blisters on our hands, we are rewarded with healed clean hands that can now be used to glorify the Lord. When we live in unforgiveness, we are trapped in the Enemy’s cage.

5. My past defines me.

How many of us feel limited in what we can achieve, due to our past?

Again, “the past” here is a massively broad term that encapsulates what we have done, where we come from, how we are raised, our sinful behavior etc. We hide behind these lies that the Enemy tells us about ourselves. It reminds me of the story of the Eagle that was raised by chickens.

The just of the story is that a Farmer found an eagle egg one day and decided to place it together with the eggs of his chickens. The eagle egg hatched and the little Eaglet, was raised like a chicken. He would eat with the chickens, only fly a few feet like the chickens and think he is a chicken. One day, an Eagle flew over the farm and the Farm-raised Eagle looked up and said “Wow, how great it must be to fly like that. What bird is that?” he asked his chicken friend. “That is an Eagle, a majestic bird of prey, a strong bird that flies above the storm” his chicken friend responded.

Now this story can end in two ways. 1. The Eagle could have realized he is in fact an Eagle and fly off and meet up with his fellow Eagle friends, living his life to his full potential, but more often than not, the 2nd outcome holds true for us: The Farm-raised Eagle continued to live his life thinking he is a chicken, limited to his surroundings and defined by his past.

Did you know Jabez means sorrow, born in pain and suffering? 1 Chronicles 4:10 reads: “Jabez called upon the God of Israel, saying, ‘Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my border, and that your hand might be with me, and that you would keep me from harm so that it might not bring me pain!‘ And God granted what he asked”. If we were truly defined by our past, would the passage not read “and God said “You must be joking right? Your mother spoke over you sorrow and pain so why would I grant you anything more than that?”

In conclusion:

Looking at all these myths and lies, there is one clear distinction. All are lies from the Enemy, all are you being played like a puppet by the Enemy and serves as a block between who you are, who God intended for you to be, what God wants to do in your life and the truth about your capabilities. If you have an emptiness inside of you, that void can only be filled with the Holy Ghost.

Jesus is the ONLY ONE who can make you whole. He is the only One who can make you feel worthy, rich, joyful, healthy, happy, content and at peace. When you have Him in your heart, your mindset changes about all the other materialistic shallow things around you because nothing can EVER match up with His love and peace in your life. When you live a Christ-filled life, you no longer have external validation that defines you, you get clothed with the fruits of the Spirit which includes self-control and you start seeing yourself, the way God sees you. Your past no longer defines you because you KNOW that you are set free. You also no longer chase things of this world, but instead you are guided by the Holy Spirit who shows you what He wants to achieve in and through you. Your heart and mind are no longer geared to what is not from Him as your freedom is found in seeking the Kingdom of God, first.

He says in 1 Corinthians 10:13 “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure.”

Have you ever stopped to wonder that perhaps these things that cross your path that seem so terrible, only appear terrible to you, because of how poorly you see yourself, because you hold onto the lies of the Enemy and/or because of how warped your own vision is of God?

If God meant for you to be an Eagle, he won’t send “chicken” challenges on your life journey, will He…..

If you are interested to find your own inner Eagle, book my complimentary pre-coaching Explore session so YOU can soar like one too.