Should vs. Wants
Posted on August 11, 2023 by Namrata Seetharam, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
Understanding the difference between Should vs. Want
While working with my clients, sometimes I have noticed that they are unable to take action for their goals.
Often, they use ‘should’ – “I should take action”, or “I should wake up early”, or “I should work hard”. And I have asked them “Does the word ‘ should’ empower you or does it feel like a rule?” and most of the time, I have heard them say “ It feels like a rule”.
Rules can either empower us or stop us.
Sometimes, unknowingly we may operate from the place of following a rule that we have created for ourselves, thus experiencing resistance to take action.
How do we change a ‘rule’ to a desire’ or a ‘should’ to ‘want’?
The key is awareness.
Once we are aware, we need to check whether we feel emotionally connected to our goal, understand the ‘why’ of our goal, asking ourselves, “why is achieving my goal important”? “If I achieve what I want, what will that give me?”
The shift from ‘should to want’ lies in the answers to these questions.
