What is Attachment Theory?

Posted on July 17, 2023 by Chelsea Lynn, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Attachment theory is a psychological explanation for the emotional bonds and relationships between people, especially those that form during early childhood. It suggests that people are born with a need to form a close emotional bond with at least one primary caregiver, usually the mother, for normal social and emotional development.

The theory was first described by British psychologist John Bowlby who was influenced by ethology, evolutionary biology, and psychoanalysis. He was interested in understanding the anxiety and distress that children experience when separated from their primary caregivers, such as in cases of maternal deprivation or institutionalization. He observed that children who were separated from their mothers showed a range of behaviors that could be categorized into three stages: protest, despair, and detachment.

Bowlby hypothesized that these behaviors were evolutionary mechanisms that had been selected for because they enhanced the child’s chances of survival. He proposed that children have an innate drive to seek proximity and responsiveness from their caregivers when they are frightened, stressed, or vulnerable. This drive activates an attachment behavioral system that regulates the child’s emotions and actions. He also suggested that children form an internal working model of their relationship with their caregiver, which is a mental representation of the self, the caregiver, and the relationship between them. This model guides the child’s expectations and beliefs about future relationships.

The theory also describes how different patterns of attachment emerge from different types of caregiver-child interactions and how they affect later development and relationships. Bowlby’s colleague Mary Ainsworth developed a procedure called the Strange Situation to assess the quality of attachment between infants and their mothers. She identified three main attachment styles: secure, anxious-resistant (or anxious-preoccupied), and avoidant (or dismissive-avoidant). Later researchers added a fourth style: disorganized (or fearful avoidant).

Secure attachment is characterized by a positive view of the self and others, a sense of trust and comfort in relationships, and an ability to cope with stress and seek support when needed. Anxious-preoccupied attachment is characterized by a negative view of the self and a positive view of others, a strong desire for closeness and approval in relationships, and an inability to cope with stress and rejection. Dismissive-avoidant attachment is characterized by a positive view of the self and a negative view of others, a preference for independence and self-reliance in relationships, and an avoidance of intimacy and emotional expression. Fearful-avoidant attachment is characterized by a negative view of the self and others, a fear of both abandonment and intimacy in relationships, and an inability to regulate emotions and trust others.

Attachment styles are not fixed traits but rather flexible patterns that can change over time through trauma or reconditioning.