Stressed and Unhappy? Try Emotional and Mind Mastery
Posted on November 20, 2011 by Jay Levin, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
You can't have the great relationship you deserve until you and your partner learn emotional and mind mastery.
There are three internal elements of yourself that determine whether your relationship and life is satisfactory or not and whether you are stressed and unhappy or not. One is how often – and to what degree – you either feel negative emotions or bottle up the ones you don’t know how to express safely. Because of lack of training in just exactly what to do with negative emotions, for many people a good day is one in which neither stress, anxiety, worry, anger, resentment, frustration, sadness, depression, grief or sheer numbness are dominant.
In other words, for most people to feel really good most of the day and enjoy a great range of subtle pleasant emotions is the exception, not the rule. The general rule is: “Hey, it’s great when I feel some joy breaking in to my usual stress, unpleasantness, or bottled up numbness.”
Elements two and three involve the mind. Element two is the mind chattering to you all the time, constantly trying to figure it all out and wondering whether this or that will work for you, or how this or that person is going to respond to you, and commenting on and concerning itself with everything.
In most modern societies we develop this chatter in childhood as a response to needs of ours that otherwise are not being met – and most of us go to the grave with our minds chattering away and believing that this is the way of all humankind, not realizing how much such unnecessary and changeable “mentalizing” obscures our intuitive wisdom and knowingness while robbing us of peace of mind.
Element three is the critical part of the mind that watches your own and everyone else’s every move and is perfectly happy to find fault with others as well as yourself. At its worst this inner voice of judgment robs us of self-confidence and self-esteem while doing real damage to our relationships and to friendships and family members- and often enough to our careers.
The good news is there are absolutely superb tools available via which you can dramatically alleviate all three of these elements. There are skills and techniques you can learn that allow you to master your emotional body so that you can alter negative feelings almost immediately and heal the profoundest of traumas.
Learn these skills and you don’t need a therapist.
There are also skills by which you can gradually end the mind chatter and master the critic, so that your mind is free to perform in a remarkable manner you have rarely experienced. These are techniques developed over the last 40 years which have a solid scientific foundation and were simply not available to your ancestors, and probably not even to your parents.
It is these and additional skills for dealing with other aspects of life – including finances, career, family and relationships – that a good Life Coach brings to the table. In fact, a healthy way to define a Life Coach is a teacher or tutor guiding you to a post-graduate level of doing life well, rather than the grade school or lower level many people are educated to.
Another way to look at it is that the goal of Life Coaches like myself is to teach you to be so skilled in dealing with your challenges that you become your own life coach and therapist. Then, as you share your learning with friends and family, you become a source of helping other people’s lives improve.
In short, it’s a big win all around. I’m happy to help you get started.
For more info: See relationshipcounselingtoday.com
