Stock Market Shocks and Relationship Quivers
Posted on November 20, 2011 by Jay Levin, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
One receptacle for economic stress is our relationships, which often take poundings in hard times unless we give ourselves the training to manage them
You can expect that the current round of stock market volatility is going to be tougher emotionally on
a larger number of people than even 2008’s crash. You might also find it to be much tougher on your relationships with life and business partners, family and even friends.
The reason is simple: unlike in 2008, more of us sense on a deeper psychic level that the system is actually broken. Our standard all-American faith that a quick fix might be possible has been shattered by the persistence of high unemployment and by the outrageous and unreal nature of politics in the U.S – to the degree that many people now suspect, and not surprisingly, that elections no longer make a difference. The most recent poll: 76% of Americans think the country is headed in the wrong direction.
The emerging sense that something fundamental has gone wrong – as in fact it has, with both parties beholden to the corporate interests that fund campaigns – has increased generalized anxiety and stress. Therapists and social workers confirm rising emotional and psychological issues among the populace. Most humans are not trained to deal with uncertainty, the way astronauts are trained, and so we tend to trigger into confusion, anxiety, anger and depression when the Big U shows up.
Like any emotions, we can suppress them just so long before they find an outlet. One notable public outlet was Tea Party member public anger over Obamacare.
One always reliable private outlet is our relationships, which tend to take poundings in times like this unless we give ourselves the training to manage them.
What I call “obliteration fear” arises alongside economic uncertainty. People tend to get closer in their unconscious and in their imaginations to some picture of bleak fate. Most of us are ill-trained by the society and our family upbringings to deal creatively with this fear and uncertainty. Instead, we rely on coping mechanisms we developed in childhood to manage family stress or not getting our core emotional needs met.
There are only six of these mechanisms: fight, flight, seek approval, control, manipulate, or sacrifice yourself to “fix” or enable someone else.
We tend to have one or more of these coping mechanisms dominate our reactive behavior, although most of us rely on more than one in dealing with other people and with difficult situations. You can figure out which ones you most rely on.
A problem with coping mechanisms is that they don’t fix the problem. In fact they aggravate the underlying emotions of fear, anger, sadness/despair and shock. And aggravated emotions find their outlet, very often against the person with whom you are in relationship.
As a life coach who trains people to deal with these issues, I know there are healthy fixes that enrich a person’s entire life. There isn’t space here to share that training but I will explain one helpful relief practice called Soma Breathing.
Instead of acting out, locate the emotional pain in your body. Focus on that part of your body and then simultaneously focus on directing your breath to that area. Don’t change your breathing pattern; instead, simply guide the breath to the pained area and feel it touching the area as a sweet kiss of soothing. As it leaves imagine it carrying away a small amount of the stress.
Do this for a few minutes to warm up and then intuitively pick a soothing color and image to breathe in alongside the breath – or as colored breath. Continue until you feel the emotional outburst or deep pain moment has passed. Use as frequently and as long as needed.
For additional guidance, you can check the Free Download on this website, jaylevin.com or relationshipcounselingtoday.com. There are also audios available covering training in critical areas of life success and relationships, including emotional and mind mastery.
Beyond this, as a former political journalist and editor, I share the sensibility that something fundamental is amiss in America and I further share the analysis of MSNBC anchor Dylan Ratigan that the core issue is that the vast majority of politicians work for the big money sources that fund their campaigns and not for the overall benefit of the U.S. As Ratigan notes, it is going to take a Constitutional amendment to take money out of politics – and there is no more urgent public matter than to insist of all politicians that they get behind such an Amendment.
For more info: See relationshipcounselingtoday.com
