Surviving a broken heart.
Posted on June 21, 2023 by Dwight D LaVan, One of Thousands of Spirituality Coaches on Noomii.
Surviving a broken heart was one of the hardest things that I ever had to endure. However, that is exactly what I did, I ENDURED.
What do you do after you have done all that you could do? When the very person that was supposed to love you through thick and thin has decided to walk right out of your life. Do you fall or roll over and die? Do you call their phone day and night pleading your case? Or do you just simply let them go? These were the questions that went through my mind when what I thought what was the love of my life walked right out on me. After I literally gave everything to be with this person, and in the end, it just simply wasn’t enough.
I had this bad habit of putting my all into a person in hopes that they would see the value in me that I didn’t see in myself. That has never worked for me, and it never will. You see, surviving a broken heart is like surviving the grief of a loved one’s passing, because in a sense you are grieving because you know from this moment on your life will never be the same. The person that you loved is no longer there and not because they have passed on but because they have moved on (big difference, huh?). However, the pain is still the same, it doesn’t make it any easy in fact, it makes it worse because you can literally run into this person at any given time, and not knowing when or how it will turn out.
I had to accept the fact that what we had was over and that they decided to move on with someone else and that someone else wasn’t me. I literally had nothing left both physically and mentally, as well as spiritually, I cried so many nights, hoping that this person would come back to me. They never did. Couple that with the fact that I was dealing with my own substance abuse issue. I had no one to turn to after almost destroying all the relationships with my family and friends defending someone that wasn’t meant for me, nor would they have done the same for me. They were gone, and I was left there to pick up the pieces.
It was then that I did what I would advise anyone to do in that situation. I leaned on a power that was and is greater and higher than my own, I leaned on God. God said that He is close to the broken heart. I truly believe that now more than ever. There was no way that I could have survived that broken heart without Him who is within me, the pain was just simply too deep, as I truly believe that this was a soulmate (we have several throughout our lifetime and in many different forms). I remember finally surrendering my heart and life over to God. My life hasn’t been the same since. I no longer do whatever it takes to please someone, and I no longer seek the approval of others. Because I have the approval of God and myself.
I live my life for me now, I LOVE ME first, I see the worth within myself, I don’t expect others to see my worth nor does it matter if they do or not because I see it in myself, and that is what matters the most. So, in closing, I want to say that surviving a broken heart is not easy, BUT you can do it! If I can do it amid battling prescription drug abuse, you can, too. I am now several years clean and my heart is no longer broken nor will it ever be again (not to that extent), because I now know how to love in a healthy way while understanding that no one is perfect and that people can and do change so it is best that I live in the moment and cherish those good times because they are not guaranteed. Also, by always remembering that everything is happening for my good, and it’s happening for me and not to me. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.
Minister Dwight D. LaVan, Pastoral Counselor & Professional Life Coach
God Smiles Ministries
TGOCounseling.com
Dwight.Yourinfo@gmail.com
