Husband and Wife Roles
Posted on June 16, 2023 by Jeremy Ballard, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.
This article is based on a book written by my wife and me, "Is Your Home a Jesus Home?" It explains the Biblical roles of the husband and wife.
God created marriage and family in the beginning, but Adam and Eve sinned and this sin has been passed down to each one of us. In order to fulfill our God given design, we must study what the Bible says about marriage and family and fulfill our purpose within the home.
God has given each person a unique role in the home. Let’s look at the Biblical roles of the husband and wife. Read Ephesians 5:22-33 and 1 Peter 3:1-7.
The wife is given several responsibilities according to these scriptures:
The wife should submit to her husband. This is not a derogatory role, but it is given by God. It does not mean that the woman is inferior to her husband, but simply that she should respect his leadership in the marriage. I often use the illustration of two people dancing. One person has to lead the dance. This does not mean one is better than the other. They are both equal partners dancing together, but if one doesn’t lead then the dance will not be in unity.
The wife should be an example to her husband even when he is not being a good man. Some translations say disobedient and others say disbelieve. Whether he is a husband who is not a believer or a husband that is rebelling, the wife must stand firm and remain faithful to respect her husband.
Men like beautiful women. However, true beauty is not in physical appearance. True beauty is in the heart. There is nothing wrong with a woman looking beautiful (women should care about their physical appearance), but having a beautiful heart is much more important. A woman’s attitude and actions are where her true beauty lies.
The husband is given several responsibilities according to these scriptures.
The husband must love his wife as Christ loves the church. How much did Christ love the church? So much that He laid down His life for her. Men, are you willing to lay down your life for your wife? I’m not talking about physically dying for her, but I’m talking about setting aside your needs and desires to meet her needs. Are you willing to unconditionally love her like Christ loves us?
Men are called to sanctify their wives. Sanctify means to set apart or to make pure. Men are not really qualified to sanctify their wives, but men are called to lead their wives to Christ who can sanctify them.
Men are called to cleanse their wives by the washing of water with the word. This means men must lead their wives into Bible studies. Men must teach their wives in a godly way the Word of God. It is important for men to lead family devotionals and train their family in the Word of God.
Men must present their wives to Christ. You must lead your wife to Christ. In order to lead her to Christ, you must first know Christ. Then you must show her the way to Christ.
Men must love their wives as their own body. Men, how much do you love yourself? Then you should love your wife in the same way if not more. She is part of you. She is united as one with you and you must treat her with love and respect as being one with you.
Men are commanded to be considerate of their wives. When making a decision, listen to your wife’s advice. Consider how this decision affects her. Make her needs a priority. Do not lead by your own priorities, but consider her needs as well.
Men must respect their wives. A man’s primary need is respect and a woman’s primary need is love. This is ingrained in our identity. However, men still need love and women still need respect. Above all you must love your wife, but respect is also needed.
Peter also adds in verse seven, “So that your prayers will not be hindered.” Men, if you are not being considerate of your wife or you are disrespecting her, your prayers will be hindered. God will not listen to the prayers of a sinful person (Ps. 34:15-18, Prov. 15:29, 1 Pet. 3:12).
As a married couple, the two must come together. They must be united with one another. This unity is one of the deepest bonds there is. The husband and wife must come together as one person/flesh. Unfortunately, many couples do not understand the importance of this concept.
Men are designed to be leaders and their primary need is respect. Women on the other hand, have a primary need for love. Both men and women need respect and they both need love, but their primary need is different.
Not understanding the different roles and needs for men and women will cause a lot of misunderstanding in your marriage relationship.
