Dear Business Managers, We Cannot Give To Others What We Haven't Got Ourselves.

Posted on June 05, 2023 by Bryan Yates, One of Thousands of Performance Coaches on Noomii.

We cannot pass on what we have not got in ourselves. As managers, teachers, executives, colleagues, and coaches, our fundamental purpose is to help those around us bring out the best in themselves. We cannot guide others to a place we’ve not authentically found in ourselves. To try to do so would merely be an academic exercise.

If you’re asking teammates and colleagues to find another gear, the kind of gear that’s necessary to propel your team and organization forward, then you need to have found it “in yourself” first. This isn’t about motivating people to do a thing. Motivation is an external force that requires pushing and compelling. Pushing is exhausting for everyone. No motivational speech, quote, or personal mantra will have the lasting, energizing effect you’re seeking. These are superficial and tactical. Besides, there’s probably a one-hour (at best) half life on those before they get filed away to be forgotten.

Here’s an obvious example. If we are not communicating with ourselves in a compassionate, authentic way, then we’re not really able to fully communicate with others in a compassionate, authentic way. Communication is not just how and what we say (verbally and non-verbally), it’s also how present we are in our listening. That takes training and practice.

When it comes to creating a vibrant and dynamic culture with expanded potential, “in yourself” is the operative phrase here. We must possess the capacity to shine an inner light that invites and pulls others in. That light must come from a deep, authentic, earned place within you. It’s not a thing that can be spoken. It’s a thing that inhabits our very being, and is expressed in how we walk, talk, breathe, and live.

That is the work. In my experience, this is NOT the kind of work that can happen as an online course or a LinkedIn certificate. That stuff is safe, detached, and comfortable. For myself, and for many with whom I’ve collaborated, that work has been a sometimes uncomfortable journey into:

- Self-Leadership
- Communication
- Self-Excavation
- Personal Vulnerability

If we want to lead well in the lives of others, then we must lead well in our own. If we want to communicate well with others, we must do so in our own lives. If we want to help catalyze growth and potential in others, we must do so in our lives.

Top-level athletes and musicians maintain their performance by mastering the physical part of their craft. They ELEVATE it—or find another gear—by diving into the inner self work. In this respect, I see no distinction between personal development coaching and performance coaching.

For you gentlemen who are looking to break out of a rut and start doing some things a little differently for yourself, the INNER CIRCLE support and co-coaching group starts this Wednesday. Visit www.locomotivcoaching.com to check it out.