Relationship Challenges, There Is A Root!
Posted on May 05, 2023 by Jacelyn Hunter, One of Thousands of Christian Coaches on Noomii.
Relationship challenges some think is rooted in one thing, cheating! Read on to understand why that is the farthest thing from the truth!
The most sobering thing that I have realized as a relationship coach and therapist is that relationship challenges encompass many things. And no matter what that thing is, there is always a root to what caused the challenge! I remember thinking as I imagined what my couple sessions would be like and thought they would most likely be about someone cheating! Let me just say there is so much more to relationship challenges than simply cheating itself. The major issues we hear about in all relationship challenges are the byproducts of the main pain-point. The root is where the real issues lie!
In some relationships it is common to argue topically while not even discussing the root of the problem. It happens unconsciously. Topical arguments are easy to do when we our real-life relationships mimic the horrible communication demonstrated on television sitcoms. Couples hear a stated problem from their partners and fail to ask deeper questions while reacting or responding without the whole picture. To avoid the wrong response or reaction to a relayed problem I have taught my couples this approach I call, “What’s really going on?” It is when I help instruct them regarding how to de-escalate intense interactions and instead pursue gaining clarity on what is really going on! There is a moment in every argument or disagreement where there is a breathing moment. A breathing moment is when silence is allowed to fall. The argument is stops, then I coach both individuals to ask the question, “What’s really going on?”
I have had couples have great success with this approach because it enables both individuals to get to the root of their feelings and where they came from. Often, the root of feelings can be found within a trigger. Most responses and reactions come from triggers. They lie dormant but know they are always active within us. Individually it is key to be aware of your lingering triggers which could affect the health of your relationship. Revealing triggers can be vulnerable so trust, good communication and understanding is vital.
I don’t just coach your relationship to a healing place, I apply it within my own marriage. My husband and I have learned to open yourselves up to one another genuinely while working hard to build the trust needed to remain vulnerable to another. After almost 7 years, we have gotten to a place where we have become a safer place for one another. Together, you two can do this! Get ready to take your relationship to another level and clear up the fog. I CAN HELP! Book me so your relationship challenges can heal.
